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Moving on in My 60s as a Solo Woman

By Wendy Ann Hulbert August 18, 2023 Lifestyle

I am six weeks into my new life back in the UK, and how interesting this stepping stone is proving to be! I decided to invest in a small lodge near the Cornwall coastline to nurture my need as a Piscean to be close to the force of the ocean, and it has, indeed, been a good decision: I always aspire to listen to my intuitive voice.

Divorce in one’s 60s is not for the faint hearted, and whilst I have had quite a number of friends (male and female) who have previously been in the same situation, albeit mostly prior to their 60s, we handled this life changing event in very different ways.

Most of them were done and dusted and had moved on within a matter of months, embracing the dating scene, and diving into new relationships wholeheartedly. It took me two and a half years to be at peace with contemplating a new significant other in my life going forward, and even now I’m not sure what that represents at this point in my life.

I do find myself more recently embracing the term “uncoupling” (courtesy of Gwyneth Paltrow) because somehow it feels less harsh than the term “divorce.” I happen to like my two ex-husbands, so that sits well with me. However, a conventional life of marriage seems rather obsolete to me now, and my innermost thoughts and daily chat with myself tell me that marriage is a thing of my past.

To be honest, though, I have rather isolated myself in these past weeks, and it seems like the right time to reemerge from my self-imposed life of being a recluse. I am always in awe of and admire those who are so content with their single status, but I am simply not wired to consistently dwell in solitude.

I do miss a tactile connection, the comfort of a bond that has been created through years of togetherness, and I do crave the comfort zone of a significant other “having my back” when life throws its curveballs.

Nurturing My Soul in My 60s

In my previous life, my husband and I lived in a rambling seven bedroom home for 12 years (he still does), and I can honestly say there was never a time that I walked through that front door, and it felt like home to me. It was his pride and joy, not mine.

I have always found my comfort zone in “small,” compact spaces, tiny homes, petite jewelry, small portions. I think my paternal grandmother’s gypsy blood coursing through my veins is accountable for this quirk of mine: a lack of desire for unnecessary material possessions and a cozy gypsy caravan or wagon have always felt unequivocally appealing. Thus I think it was only natural that I would gravitate towards my current version of a true life Wendy House.

Smaller spaces help me to contemplate, think, ponder, listen to music, exercise, write, paint… They enable my creative juices to flow. I feel somewhat lost in vast spaces; like I’m rattling around, unable to touch the walls for a grounding force, and somehow this renders me out of whack.

Being the Best Version of Me in My 60s

If you find yourself in the same situation in your third and final act, please, please, please, be kind to yourself. I buy myself beautiful flowers; I wear perfume and makeup so that I feel feminine; I always cook myself a nice meal once a day (I know I deserve better than TV dinners just because I am not cooking for anybody else); I take long walks in nature because it feeds my soul; I listen to the music that evokes positive emotion; I seek out cat purrs and their soft warmth; I pursue fulfillment and a sense of purpose by seeking to help others.

I practice the discipline of promptly making my bed and cleaning the dishes; I get in my daily steps. I think it is important to keep up these routines for my own dignity, my sense of self-esteem. Whatever your version of treating yourself kindly, make it a priority because it will keep your spirits high in times of heading for a low.

I got comfortable in my own skin, and it doesn’t have to be defined by a significant other, either showing their approval or their disapproval of how I choose to live my life. Yet I do find myself manifesting new beginnings that include a relationship, in some form, so that I feel ready to move on from hiding out in my She Shed, my Lady Lair, my Fem Den.

But for now, I will continue to enjoy the confines of my woman cave and the reassurance its four small walls bring me. I just had a thought: maybe I am regressing to being in my mother’s womb; now that’s deep.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Why do we refer to a man cave, but not a woman cave? Where is your happy place? Is less more, in your eyes? How have you handled a divorce in your 60s?

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I am waiting, a bit on tenterhooks, to see if my husband of 30 years and I will make a go of it that isn’t settling. He’ll be gone for a month (it’s getting close for him to return); and then we’ll see what we feel and want.

We were planning a vow renewal, and instead it became clear that we needed to separate, at least for now.

In the meantime I alternate between “yes!” and “I kind of miss him”. I know my biggest job is myself right now. It’s difficult to fill the spaces in a truly satisfying and meaningful way.

Wendy Hulbert

Hello Ava, I went through a similar process before actually making the break; your decision will likely be easier when you see how he reacts on his return. Either way, good luck :)


I also was divorced at 58 years of age and 22 years of marriage and another 3 of being with my “soul mate”. I had anticipated a different journey into retirement. But 3 months ago, I retired. The adjustment has been interesting at times. I made sure to keep a calendar for myself. I enrolled in exercise classes at a community center focusing on people 50+ years old. I make sure to go the 5 days a week they are open. I have started reading fiction again-after years of having readings of nonfiction, I needed a break…lol. I do miss the connection and conversations that come with a relationship, but also enjoy being solo. I have attended concerts by myself (my gal pals are all still working), taking classes at the local conservatory, going to auctions, and letting myself reengage in my religious/spiritual side of self. I try to realize all the blessings I have and find ways to keep myself healthy and happy. This site is providing a fantastic resource for me to add other connections!

Wendy Hulbert

Hello Angie, well it sounds like you are definitely embracing being kind to yourself which is so important. Good for you :)


I was divorced at 57 and I’ve been on my own for five years now and I am relishing having my home to myself and having peace and quiet. My last marriage lasted for 22 difficult years with a man that didn’t share my values and morals. I do sometimes have a bit of anxiety about being alone when crises come in for the most part, I am resilient and strong and content I got a dog two years ago who brings me a lot of joy and keeps me getting out for exercise twice a day. I’m still working full-time at a demanding job – I haven’t figured out what Retirement will look like yet I tried a popular dating app for people over 50 for a year and it stretched my comfort zones a bit, but overall was disappointing as there are a lot of people who misrepresent themselves. I would rather be alone than in a relationship that I’ve ‘settled’ for. My first grandchild was born six months ago. My youngest will be finished college in a couple of years. I’m looking forward to pursuing some interesting hobbies as I contemplate retirement in the next five years or so.

Wendy Hulbert

Hello Bonnie, sounds like you are grabbing life by the horns, so good for you. A woman after my own heart :)


That so speaks or my soul!! I am a widow and have found I thoroughly enjoy my own company and the freedom to live in my own space, do as I please and answer to no one. After being married for 31 years, I wasn’t sure if I would ever be ready to cohabitat on a permanent basis. I have decided I quite like the idea of male friendships. In my seventies I have embraced my ever changing journey of self discovery!

Wendy Hulbert

Hello Christine, there is much to be said for the new found joys that life can offer when we become solo. I love that you are embracing life :)


Thanks for this article. It is really interesting to me because I also am really affected by where I live. I live in a six bedroom Victorian house that I had shared with my late husband, and since then with the serious boyfriend that I am no longer together with. Friends and neighbors may wonder why I keep this house. I love how it looks, I love the space and all the windows, the fireplaces, and I have a large garden that I’ve been cultivating for 14 years. It takes a long time to get a garden to this point, with so many mature perennials and shrubs. Also because some key people in my life who are no longer alive have been with me in this house – various family members, and previous dogs that I loved. I’ve just got too many memories to want to leave


Home is home and that’s something that grounds us and gives us wings too.

Wendy Hulbert

Hello Shelley, it absolutely is a grounding force. No matter what is going on in our lives, we all need a haven to retreat to :)

Wendy Hulbert

Hello Jan, thanks for sharing: your home is clearly your happy place, and seemingly a grounding force for you. Our life is made of memories, so yes, cherish them :)

The Author

Wendy is a world traveler, having worked for many years on cruise ships, and lived in multiple countries during her adult life. In recent years Wendy pursues her passion for writing and sharing her gypsy soul experiences in various forms. Follow her on Instagram: wendygypsysoulcelebrant and read her Substack column at

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