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The Importance of Choosing Good Friends After 60

By Susan "Honey" Good January 02, 2024 Lifestyle

Lately, I’ve been thinking a great deal about friendships. Friends and social acquaintances are a big and important part of a woman’s life. Therefore, it remains vital, as we age, not to let those relationships slip away. It’s so easy to get caught up in other life events.

Grandchildren and husbands or boyfriends and appointments and social events can easily eat away at our time. It seems friendships are often the first to go, because it’s easy to put off returning that phone call or email or text message.

But it shouldn’t be. If you are finding yourself pushing your friends on the back burner, or you’re the friend that seems pushed to the side, you need to reevaluate these situations. I have developed some questions you should ask yourself about your relationships with your girlfriends.

Do You Both Put in The Time?

Friendship doesn’t just happen. Friendship takes time and energy from both parties. Ask yourself, is everyone pulling their weight to maintain the relationship?

If you chose a friend who is working to make the friendship a happy one, it means you should feel the obligation to respond to her. Answer her texts, emails or phone calls.

Making time for a lunch date or maybe a manicure is a great opportunity to chat and share. If you don’t both feel the need, you should evaluate the friendship and ask yourself: “Does, this friend feed my soul? Does she inspire me? Can I rely on her? Can I trust her? Do I laugh with her?”

Do You “Mirror” Each Other?

Mirroring doesn’t make you two peas in a pod. It simply means you are on the same wavelength. You understand where each of you is coming from. You are more similar than different.

I don’t believe in cliques. That works for some women but not for me. I like my friends to come from different walks of life – that adds spice to the relationship.

And yet, my friends must have my life values. Our values are the glue that bonds us. My advice is to not try to mirror your friend. Choose a friend who mirrors you.

Can You Really Open to One Another?

Every month in my winter home in California, I host a focus group. Each month we discuss a topic of concern. The women I invite are open and honest, and we discuss tough topics.

For example, it’s not easy to admit that you feel invisible because of your age or that you don’t know how you will handle finances if your husband dies. Open honesty is as important in a friendship as it is in a romantic relationship.

Do You Help One Another?

Do you share useful information with one another? If you have a friend who is open and honest and wants to offer you meaningful and thought out advice, she is a keeper. Sharing is caring and creates a tight bond.

Friendships simply can’t be taken for granted. If a friendship isn’t working, you owe it to the other person to have an honest conversation.

Perhaps you need to clear the air. Perhaps you need to re-evaluate the relationship. I am a firm believer that after 60 you should be thinking about quality rather than quantity.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you have a group of good friends? What are the qualities that you value most in your friends? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.

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Renee Lovitz

I am blessed with many good friends.
We help and trust each other. I have no family living nearby, so my friends fill the gap. Make time for them. They are my most important asset.

Sandra Curtis

I SO agree with you, Renee!


It is difficult to make good friends after a certain age unless you are lucky enough to have long term friends. I am having to re-evaluate some friendships that are one-sided as I am the one who reaches out and puts energy into the friendship. I am therefore branching out to find new acquaintances. I do not know what connections I might make, but I am done with my old behavior of people pleasing, and I want to explore new ways of connecting with new people.


” I am having to re-evaluate some friendships that are one-sided as I am the one who reaches out and puts energy into the friendship.”
I relate to this so very much. I am the one who initiates, reaches out and always saying “let’s do this or that”. One friend I walked away from after saying that I felt that she did not want to make an effort any longer or be friends. We talked it over again after I left and while we do not get together as often as I would like, she realizes that I will no longer be the only one
putting in the work to keep the friendship going. I have another who is more
reciprocal. We stayed connected throughout the pandemic; whether in person or by zoom. I treasure our connection.
No more being the only one to row the boat.


I find I have “church” friends, “tennis” friends and “business” friends and all are unique and wonderful, adding something special to my life. So far, so good. I plan to keep them all around for as long as I can.


Love this. No, girlfriends can’t be taken for granted. We must make time for them, schedule them into our calendar. We really need to nurture those friendships bc as women we need them so very much. I feel so fortunate that I have such lovely, supportive women in my life!


I have a great group of friends since high school and we have made it into a Sewing Group that meets every two weeks. The qualities I see in my group is kindness, thoughtfulness and support. We cry and laugh together.

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The Author

Susan Good is a wife, mother and grandmother to 24! She has dedicated her life to showing other women how to keep taking a big bite out of life with optimism and style. At her website, she shares how women can live stylishly after 50.

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