There Are 1,400 Dating Apps and Sites. Naturally, Everyone Wants Me to Pick One in 12 Seconds!

Three podcasts. Two television interviews. In the last week. And apparently, every interviewer in America received the same memo.

“Andrea, What’s the Best Dating App for Women Over 60?”

Ah, yes. THAT question.

The one I’m supposed to answer in 12 seconds, preferably while smiling at the camera and pretending I’ve discovered a secret warehouse filled with emotionally available men who enjoy travel, communicate beautifully, and know how to load a dishwasher.

OurTime? Match? Bumble? SilverSingles?

Hang on. Let me grab my crystal ball. It’s somewhere between my reading glasses and the 33,000 first dates I’ve helped arrange.

After more than 30 years in the dating business, here’s what I know:

There is no magical dating app. And there is certainly no secret website where all the good men over 60 are hiding.

Believe me, if there were, I’d have found it.

I’d probably own it.

And I’d charge admission.

Dating Apps Are Not One-Size-Fits-All; Neither Are Bras

Let’s say you’re a 72-year-old widow in Florida who loves golf, travel, and a good glass of Chardonnay. You’re hoping to meet a kind, interesting man who enjoys companionship and maybe a little romance.

Should you use the same dating strategy as a 57-year-old recently divorced executive in Chicago who wants to remarry and has absolutely no interest in becoming someone’s full-time nurse, cook, or social secretary?

Of course not.

Yet women constantly ask me for one universal recommendation, as though I’m handing out winning Powerball numbers.

Before I recommend a dating site, I want to know a few things.

• Are you looking for marriage, a committed relationship, companionship, or simply someone wonderful to share dinner and a sunset?
• Do you live in a major metropolitan area or a town where the dating pool consists of three eligible men, two of whom you’ve already dated?
• Are you willing to drive 45 minutes to meet someone, or does crossing the county line qualify as a long-distance relationship?

And perhaps most importantly, are you genuinely ready to let someone new into your life?

Because at this stage, dating isn’t simply about finding someone attractive. It’s about finding someone who fits the life you’ve worked so hard to create.

The Dating App Isn’t Always the Problem; Sometimes It’s the Driver

Here’s something women don’t always love hearing.

You can be on the perfect dating site and still have a romantic life that resembles a yard sale in a hurricane.

Why?

Your photos are from 2016. Your profile says you “love to laugh” (congratulations, so does approximately everyone else on the planet). You’ve written a list of requirements longer than your last grocery receipt.

Or perhaps you’re dismissing perfectly lovely men because they’re two inches shorter than your ideal, live 20 minutes too far away, or have committed the unforgivable crime of wearing socks with sandals.

And then there’s the first date.

“So, how long have you been divorced? What’s your financial situation? Are you emotionally available? And where do you see this relationship going?”

Good heavens. The poor man hasn’t even ordered his iced tea.

A First Date Is Not a Deposition; Put Down the Clipboard

At 60 or 70, we certainly know more about what we want. That’s one of the wonderful advantages of getting older. But sometimes experience makes us so cautious that we forget how to be curious.

We’re so busy looking for reasons someone won’t work that we miss the reasons they might.

Before You Analyze Another Man, Try Analyzing Yourself

Here’s a radical idea.

Before spending another six months examining the profiles of complete strangers, what if you spent 10 minutes understanding your own dating behavior?

I don’t mean blaming yourself for past relationships. I mean recognizing the patterns that influence your romantic decisions.

• Do you confuse instant chemistry with genuine compatibility?
• Do you eliminate men too quickly because they don’t check every box?
• Are you so fiercely independent that you’ve forgotten how to make room for another person?
• Or do you overlook obvious incompatibilities because someone makes your heart race?

These are the questions that fascinate me.

They’re also why I developed the McGinty Relationship Dating Profile (MRDP), which I describe as the Myers-Briggs of dating.

Through 23 questions, the assessment identifies your dating archetype and provides a personalized, two-page analysis of how you approach relationships, make romantic decisions, and evaluate potential partners.

It explores your strengths, blind spots, and patterns that may be getting in the way of the relationship you want.

And after decades of helping people find love, I can tell you something:

Sometimes the most important person to understand in your dating life isn’t the man across the dinner table. It’s you.

Curious about your own dating patterns? Take the McGinty Relationship Dating Profile Assessment and discover what your dating habits might be telling you.

The Good News About Dating After 60? You Get to Rewrite the Rules

One of my favorite things about working with women in their 60s and 70s is that they’ve lived. They’ve raised families, built careers, experienced heartbreak, survived loss, celebrated victories, and figured out who they are.

Some have been married for 35 years. Others have been happily single for decades. Some are widowed and wondering whether their hearts have room for another love.

There is no single right way to approach this chapter.

You don’t have to remarry. You don’t have to live together. You don’t have to combine bank accounts, surrender your independence, or pretend to enjoy pickleball.

You get to decide what love looks like now.

But you do have to participate.

That means being willing to meet people, try something unfamiliar, and occasionally have coffee with a man who doesn’t look exactly like the fantasy you’ve been carrying around since 1987.

And yes, sometimes that means using an online dating site. Not because technology is romantic. But because it can introduce you to people you would never otherwise meet.

So, Andrea, What’s the Best Dating App for Women Over 60?

I’m so glad you asked.

Again.

For approximately the 4,782nd time.

The best dating app is the one that works for YOU.

Not your recently divorced neighbor.

Not your Pilates instructor.

Not your cousin who met her third husband online and now considers herself the chief romantic officer of the internet.

You.

Your location. Your lifestyle. Your relationship goals. Your willingness to experiment. And yes, your dating strategy.

Because finding love after 60 isn’t about desperately searching for someone to complete your life.

It’s About Finding Someone Who Makes an Already Interesting Life Even Better

So the next time someone asks me, “Andrea, which dating app should I use?” I’ll smile sweetly and say:

“Excellent question. I have about 37 questions for you first.”

And if they insist on a 12-second answer?

“Try the one with single men.”

You’re welcome.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

So, what’s your favorite dating app? Why is it your favorite? Which apps have you tried and how successful were you?