5 Steps to Turning Yourself on After 60

For decades, a widespread belief that sexuality is only validated through external relationships has convinced millions of women and men over 60 that sexual pleasure and intimacy must come from someone else turning them on.

Does this belief limit sexual pleasure as we age by creating dependency on external approval? Does this belief also lead to diminished self-worth? And if so, how can we rewrite the rules of sexuality as we age?

In this article and video, we will answer these questions as we explore the health benefits of turning yourself on and share a five-step plan for doing so.

This is the second of a new, 10-part exclusive series for Sixty and Me readers titled “Improve Your Lifestyle After 60 by Boosting Your Sexual Confidence.”

Health Benefits of Turning Yourself on

Martha Kauppi, an AASECT-certified sex therapist and supervisor, who is also the founder of the Institute for Relational Intimacy, wrote the following in 2020:

“In our culture, we tend to assume that desire comes from outside ourselves: we see a sexy person walk by, and we get turned on. But the truth is that desire comes from within.

When that sexy person walks by, it leads to a thought, and that thought comes from within you. It’s your interpretation of any given stimulus that makes it erotic, and results in you feeling turned on. It’s not a “bolt from out of the blue;” it comes from your own erotic self.”

But what does this mean for self-pleasure after 60? What if you are not interested in a romantic partnership at this stage of life, are you to just give up your right to feel sexual and sensual?

Pleasing yourself and exploring what turns you on is an act of self-love and self-discovery. When you embrace your own sexuality and allow yourself to be sensual without guilt or external validation, you strengthen your emotional well-being, confidence, and overall vitality.

Even though sexuality begins within you, there are many internal and external obstacles to face and overcome. One of the biggest barriers to turning yourself on is the outdated belief that self-pleasure is inappropriate, shameful, or unnecessary at this stage of life.

In reality, turning yourself on is:

• A tool for emotional release and self-care.
• A way to improve body awareness and intimacy.
• A source of pleasure, relaxation, and connection with oneself.

By releasing old taboos and embracing pleasure as a personal right, you regain control over your sensuality as you cultivate deeper self-love and sexual empowerment.

5-Steps to Turning Yourself on

Turning yourself on is not just about physical pleasure. Nor is it about waiting for someone else to initiate the need for you to be turned on.

Turning yourself on is about:

• Personal empowerment
• Emotional connection
• Deep self-love

To experience the benefits of turning yourself on, here are five steps for immediately improving the quality of your lifestyle after 60:

STEP 1: Mirror Appreciation Ritual

This step is about self-acceptance. Stand in front of a mirror without judgment and observe yourself with admiration. Gently touch your skin, noticing its texture, warmth, and beauty.

Your experiences, wisdom, and stories are part of your allure, and this first step helps you to embrace the changes in your body and recognize beauty in aging.

STEP 2: Explore Inspiring Content on Sexuality & Aging

This step is about satisfying your curiosity and is essential for turning yourself on at this stage of life. There are books, articles, workshops, and videos focused on sexuality and pleasure for those who are 60 and over.

Seek online or in-person events focused on self-love, intimacy, or sexual wellness. Also, try a different form of touch, new scents, or sensual fabrics that enhance self-awareness and accentuate pleasure.

STEP 3: Create a Sacred Space for Pleasure

Set up a comfortable, private area where you feel safe and relaxed for self-exploration. Use your hands, different textures, or temperature play (warm oils & cool sensations) to enhance pleasure.

Masturbation is a way to understand what feels good to you. Invest in high-quality personal massagers, vibrators, lubricants, and/or stimulating visuals designed for your personal taste.

STEP 4: Self-Reflection on Desires & Boundaries

If you have a romantic partner, be open in your communication about your desires, fears, and boundaries. This level of being vulnerable fosters understanding and can lead to a more fulfilling sexual relationship.

Engage in open discussions with trusted friends, partners, or professionals about changes, solutions, and empowerment. Also, practice expressing what feels good for you, alone or with a partner, using confident and inviting language. Journaling is beneficial with this step.

STEP 5: Schedule a Sexual Wellness Check-Up

Some women and men over 60 may benefit from medical interventions like hormone replacement therapy or pills to help a man’s libido. Vaginal dryness is a common issue post-menopause and the use of lubricants can alleviate discomfort. Consulting with a gynecologist or sexual health expert can provide tailored advice for these challenges.

Next Steps

When you embrace these five steps, you affirm your right to pleasure, confidence, and intimate self-discovery on your own terms. By taking control of your own desires, you create a more fulfilling, vibrant, and joyful lifestyle.

I invite you to join me in the video, where I share with you five immediate benefits of turning yourself on and embracing pleasure after 60. I will also guide you through three journal prompts to help you integrate what you are learning.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What does sexuality mean to you after 60? How do you embrace your sexuality? What in this article sounds doable to you?