Freeze frame your life. Ask yourself if you are living the life you deserve and want. Don’t tell me your answer yet. Tell yourself that answer.
At the beginning and end of each decade, and once in the middle, I ask myself if I am living the life I deserve and want. I’m living the single life, of course, with family responsibilities that I embrace.
I mindfully ask myself how I want to make my life more interesting, more productive, more engaging, more resourceful, more joyful at the beginning of every year. This analysis may be a bit excessive, but it helps to keep my balance with mindfulness throughout the year.
I feel grateful that for over 20 years, my yoga and meditation practice has consciously directed my attention to the benefits of self-reflection. It has helped me discover my vulnerabilities, disadvantageous attitudes, closed mindsets and lack of self-esteem to name a few barriers to living a full and rich life.
One of the most effective ways to be all you are in life is to ask yourself what you really want. What path do you want to take to fulfill your dreams? Everybody wants to love and be loved, to have confidence, respectability, and excitement; however, all of us compromise these values from time to time by creating mindless entrapments that set limitations on life’s expectations. Sometimes we even encourage conditional false assumptions. That’s when we all get off the track, and it is then that our life is on track to be unlived.
My situation changed at the beginning of this year when I found myself single, without a male partner. Translate: We broke up. I’ve been in this space before and I assume I will be in this space again. So, it behooved me to break past patterns of organization, control issues, old habits of thinking and to do something different to live my unlived life.
Most important was to remember that time is not fixed. It’s relative, on a continuum. According to the concept of quantum physics, there is no past, present or future. If we identify with the concept of time, we limit our thought processes and shrink our possibilities and opportunities. Time means the change of things, so time is ours to play with any way we want.
The key to living a fulfilling life requires a healthy dose of creativity. Our staid minds don’t want to stretch; our emotions want to stay under the radar so we stuff them down inside us. The key to creativity is to recognize our vulnerabilities and to be openly, emotionally honest.
If this idea doesn’t come easily, it might be helpful to focus on making intentions (process) rather than continue preoccupation with outcomes (goals). By making intentions, we give ourselves permission to explore and learn in present time.
Intentions are not time sensitive. They are not based on past performance, with its limiting thought process. Intentions keep us remarkably clear-headed. Even if the intention is for 30 seconds, it can open mind space and direct our positive energies toward living the unlived life.
Sometimes life is all too much and we lose motivation. Our minds are going from pillar to post with expediential speed. It’s difficult to know what is meaningful, what is effective, what will propel our dreams. We lose energy. If we want to discover the untapped nuances of how to live the unlived life, we must understand that there is no such thing as failure.
We also have to avoid buying into a single-minded self-image: It can be dangerous to our self-esteem. “I am a writer and that’s it.” But I am more than a writer. This mindset precludes overcoming challenges, keeping passions at a distance and fostering unrealistic expectations.
My son created a company called Contenders. I love the name. Every human being can be a contender because we have the mind tools to unbundle the unlived life.
When we are contenders, we are open to new stimulus, we are alert to changed signals, we try out different perspectives and choices that defy labels, and we are aware of the process of why we made a choice. Being a contender leads to feelings of control, greater freedom of action, and less burnout.
We can tap into our unlived life in many ways. We can be a contender for life. We can overcome our challenges and struggles as we manifest the best of ourselves. And we can renew our positive intentions daily as we explore multiple perspectives, create new categories and embrace novel approaches to problems. This we can do.
What challenges have you had to overcome in your 60s? Are you living the life you want and deserve? How often do you check in with yourself about your life balance? Please share in the comments.
Tags Reinventing Yourself