7 Pillars of Becoming Your Own Authority on Love

How do we learn to love ourselves after 60 if we were not taught about self-love early on in life?

Because of how we were raised, educated, and trained for adulthood conformity, we relied on the beliefs, rules, and guidance of authority figures to make sense of life. This included how we defined love and also how we perceived our value and worthiness to have our desires fulfilled.

By taking on other people’s outdated beliefs and false stories about what constitutes love, we unknowingly gave away our power to be our own inner authority on love.

Now that we are 60 and over, are we any closer to understanding what love is?

Equipped with wisdom from our own life experiences, is it possible to make choices today that serve our greater well-being by developing our inner authority on love?

We are going to answer these questions and more as we begin part three of my new six-part series on The Art of Self-Love After 60.In this series, we are focusing on ways to stimulate love, bliss, and pleasure on our own terms.

Read part 1: 7 STEPS TO TURN UP THE HEAT ON YOUR LOVE LIFE.

Read part 2: 10 EASY WAYS TO LOVE MORE OF YOURSELF.

A Mind of Our Own

It is hard for some to fathom, but there was a time when having a mind of our own could get us into serious trouble. I don’t just mean when we were children or teenagers.

Whether it was at college, work, or in the communities we lived in as adults, having a mind of our own and trusting our inner authority to make choices that were in our best interest could get us in more trouble than anything we experienced in our adolescence.

I am not talking about breaking the law. I am, however, talking about what happens when we want to go against the status quo by choosing to do what we love and open ourselves up to loving what we do.

It sounds simple enough, right?

The harsh reality is that for most people of our generation who chose to follow their hearts, they experienced significant resistance. Not just from other people but from within their own selves.

Simply put, our generation was taught to think, be and do as we were told. Maybe this approach was needed at one point. What about now?

The 7 Pillars of Inner Authority on Love

If you were like me, the process of developing a mind of your own and following your heart is directly linked to learning to love yourself. In my case, this was a fly-by-the-seat of your pants process as my 20s, 30s and 40s were filled with trial and error, some of it quite traumatic.

It was clear to me that if I was going to live a fulfilling life in my 50s and beyond, I had to stop thinking and behaving in the ways I was raised and educated. This meant not only establishing a mind of my own but becoming my own inner authority on love.

There are a lot of things that played a role in me learning to trust my own inner authority on love. Here are seven of the most important:

1. Forgiveness: Letting go of resentment and anger towards myself and others.
2. Gratitude: Appreciating who I am and being grateful for life lessons.
3. Trust: Listening to and following the guidance of my inner, authentic self.
4. Patience: Accepting self-love is not a destination but a life-long journey.
5. Childhood Imagination: Using the power of my childhood imagination to creatively break free of adulthood conformity.
6. Self-Love and Self-Care: Establish consistent, daily habits to nurture my mind and nourish my body.
7. Journaling: This helped silence my inner critic and release limiting beliefs, both of which delivered enhanced clarity on my innermost desires.

It Begins and Ends with You

There are days when I forget I am my own authority on love. I have learned to interrupt and reframe those moments by returning to one or more of these seven pillars.

An effective method is giving myself permission to stop what I am doing, step out of the busyness of the day and go somewhere peaceful to quiet my mind.

No matter what you engage in to strengthen your trust in being your own inner authority on love, remember that when it comes to matters of the heart, no one knows what is best for you than yourself.

To live a life that makes your heart sing, the process of loving yourself begins and ends with you. For if you are not the inner authority on love for yourself, who is?

I invite you to join me in the video where I share additional insights including several journal prompts to help you integrate what you are learning.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

How you are becoming your inner authority on love after 60? Do you trust yourself to know what and how to love?