In my book, Which Old Woman Will You Be?, I encourage living on purpose and being intentional so that as we age, we are the women we choose to be. The women we want to be. The women we intentionally become, instead of the ones we sort of drift into without thought or effort.
Taking a bit of my own advice, I have been noticing things I would be happier and more pleasant about if I will quit. I don’t want to be the grandmother who no one wants to visit because she is negative or critical – or grumpy!
So, while I am healthy and of relatively sound mind, I am making a decision to quit some habits that I have noticed in myself. No more of these things.
I am going to quit! They are a waste of time and energy, and lead to no great outcome.
I am not going to complain about anything. No complaining about long lines at the grocery store (or people with 13 items in the 12-item limit lane). No complaining about people who drive exactly the speed limit in the left lane.
No complaining about slow customer service. Or people who talk too fast. Or ungrateful recipients. No complaining about boring people or those who smack their gum.
No complaining. But, rather, I will help when I can. And I will regularly state the many, many reasons I have to give thanks.
Even in my mind… no criticizing. No criticizing the way my salad comes to me at a restaurant (even if it might be improved). Definitely no criticizing of how my grandchildren are being raised.
No criticizing the noise level of the café. No criticizing my own appearance. No criticizing people responsible for unplowed streets or un-shoveled sidewalks. No criticizing people who are doing something in a way different than what my approach would be.
No criticizing. But, rather, finding ways to improve and support the people who come into my life. Instead of criticizing, making note of how I might improve the way I do things and keeping alert to opportunities for personal improvement.
No comparing to how we did it in 1975. No comparing to how I used to look (or feel or move). No comparing myself to other women or wives or grandmothers or mothers or business owners or authors or neighbors.
No comparing one person to another. No comparing my own choices of how to spend money or time to others’ ways of spending time or money.
No comparing. But rather, intentionally going out of my way to improve myself and to invest in others. And much more overt complimenting of others’ successes and accomplishments.
I’m going to quit avoiding those things that I have to do but don’t want to do. I won’t avoid those un-favorite tasks but will either tackle them or hire someone else to do them (think, housecleaning).
I will quit avoiding health exams I don’t enjoy. I will not avoid my business paperwork. If I had people I am avoiding, I would quit that, too.
No avoiding, but rather, scheduling those tasks in to get them done with intention and timeliness. Living on purpose, keeping my end game in mind, and doing what needs to be done.
I’m going to do what I want to do, even if no one else wants to or is available to do/go/enjoy with me. I am going to invite others to lunch or to dinner and not keep track of whose turn it is.
I am going to schedule the trip or ask if I can visit or stop by. I am going to quit assuming that there are enough other volunteers.
No more waiting for others to take the initiative. Instead, I will invite. I will initiate. I will attend alone. I will offer my services.
We have the option of continuing on with personal growth as long as we have breath. These behaviors that I am quitting are just simple ways that will get me to who I want to keep becoming. I will keep moving towards being the Woman I Want to Be in my ThirdThird!
What habits do you need to quit? Which kind of Senior Woman do you want to be? How are you investing in your own personal growth? Please use the comments below to share your thoughts.