There are two types of change – those changes thrust upon us, leaving us no choice, and those that we make by choice – both with either a positive or negative outcome.
I have, as have you, no doubt, been faced with many mountainous, thrust-upon-me kind of life changes.
Changes happened beyond my control. For example, overnight I became a widow in my forties. Years later, I learned that I had cancer on a phone call with my doctor. There was no time to think until after the fact. I am grateful to be a survivor.
A few years ago, I made the choice to commit to a major lifestyle change; a change that is not mandatory. I took many months answering my own questions because when you are considering a serious life change, it is crucial that you bide your time until you live into your answer.
When I made the decision, I had 100% control of a life change and that felt exhilarating. Looking back, I can tell you that although I was busy – so busy, I was dizzy! – I was alsy very happy about my decision. That decision was to launch my blog, HoneyGood.com.
Now, after years of maintaining it, it has become my safe haven. But back then, I had concerns that it will drain my energy and will take away from my time with my husband.
So, let me share the questions I think everyone should ask themselves before diving into a major life change.
First and foremost, you do not want to get carried away by your emotion. You want to base your decision on wisdom. I suggest, from my experience, that you sit down in a quiet spot with a cup of hot tea or coffee and a pad of paper and pen and some soft calming music. On the paper, make two columns. One is for all the positives and one for the negatives. Here are seven questions to ask yourself an answer with all the honesty you have in you:
There’s one more question that’s not on the list because it is the most important question of all.
How will this change affect my marriage or partnership? How will it impact my family relationships, those with my children and grandchildren?
What about friendships?
It is important for all of us over 60 and 70 to have a purpose and yet to know our limits. To be fired up with enthusiasm is very important whether it is cross country skiing or taking a cooking class or spending time with your grandchildren. It matters when you are reading great books, nurturing an herb garden, traveling the world or redecorating a room.
After you have challenged yourself to answer the above questions with honesty, you will see a marvelous path for change in your life after 60. I wish you the courage to go out there and have the tenacity and purpose to do it!
A new purpose brings visibility and relevance and this brings inner happiness and inner beauty. You will radiate this to all around you.
In the wise words of Alan Wilson Watts, “The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.”
Whether your life is a smooth and steady foxtrot or a lively cha cha, I hope at every age you find joy in the dance.
Have you ever gone through a major change in your life? What questions did you ask yourself? Are there still changes you want to make? Please share your thoughts with the Sixty and Me community.
Tags Reinventing Yourself