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Build Your Kitchen Sanctuary

By Ilene Marcus April 05, 2025 Mindset

In this age of instant gratification, where a meal can be summoned with a tap on a screen, I often forget the simple pleasure of being in my kitchen. I find myself standing before the fridge, lost in the glow of its light, or bypassing the stove altogether, opting for the convenience of readymade food, leftovers or online orders.

I think of Carrie Bradshaw (Sex and the City), who never cooked; she made a point of that. But she was a woman who understood the importance of ritual. Her secret, single, sexy behavior was legendary, where she read Vogue in her underwear, standing at her kitchen counter while eating Ritz crackers. Her way of owning her space, of creating a moment that was entirely hers.

What Is It About My Kitchen?

I get that. My kitchen might not be the backdrop for culinary masterpieces, but it’s where I find my own version of that quiet, personal joy.

My Kitchen Is My Command Center

The kitchen bar with wood stools is where I write at and talk to others. It’s also where I keep my computer when not upstairs in my office. It’s the room I walk by the most, the room that I use every day. I’m reclaiming my kitchen as a sanctuary, a place where I can remember to practice all best-self techniques. A place where I use the time wisely, slow down my life and reconnect with myself.

Also read, Where’s Your Command Center?

My Kitchen Is Where I Experiment and Have Fun

This kitchen isn’t some curated ideal; it’s where I can start right now to create my own space, my own sanctuary. It’s where I can rediscover a sense of play, of letting go of rigid routines. I work on making healthy choices, yes. I dance between the refrigerator and the stove, the pantry and the garbage pail. I make mistakes, I burn something, a sauce turns out too sour, and I toss back my head and laugh and try again.

My Kitchen Is a Place I Practice My Life to Do List

I solve problems with a dose of creativity and humor. I laugh, sing out loud and off key, stop and pray, stop and pause, show empathy, listen to a friend or a song. I don’t react; I regroup on my day’s plan or something on my mind; I reframe; I rewrite and don’t put off what can be done today.

My kitchen is where I can blend my lifelong effort of efficiency with a touch of whimsy. It’s where I can find a new rhythm, my own way of doing things. It’s about getting it done on my own terms, and maybe even finding a bit of that inner kid along the way.

My kitchen isn’t just a place to prepare food. It’s a place to prepare myself for the world, a place to remember where I came from, and a place to simply be. And just like Carrie, I’m finding that sometimes, the most important moments are the ones I spend alone, in my own space, creating my own rituals.

Create Your Kitchen Sanctuary:

Embrace Ritual, Your Way

Create moments in your kitchen that are uniquely yours. It’s not about cooking; it’s about claiming the space for personal reflection, joy, and a sense of self. Whether it’s writing at the counter, dancing with the fridge, or simply enjoying a quiet moment, make it a deliberate act of reclaiming your space.

Innovate and Integrate

Don’t just stick to tradition. Blend your grandmother’s legacy with modern efficiency. Find ways to streamline your kitchen experience, to make it work better for you. This could be through new tools, organizational systems, or even just finding a faster way to do the dishes.

Find Play in the Practical

Don’t separate “work” from “play.” Integrate creativity and humor into your daily kitchen routines. Sing, dance, laugh, and try new things, even if they fail spectacularly. It’s about finding joy in the process, not just the outcome.

What’s Next

Reframe how you think about your kitchen. It is no longer just a room; it’s a launchpad. Take these lessons and apply them to other areas of your life. Work to find your “kitchen rituals” in all your spaces, work, relationships, and personal projects. Embrace innovation and efficiency in everything you do. Remember to find the humor and playfulness in the everyday, even when things get tough.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What do you do in your kitchen? Do you have special rituals you perform there? Have you thought about spending more time in your kitchen, trying new things and just having joyful moments?

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Cindy L

I remodeled my kitchen during the pandemic — bad timing — but it brings such joy to have a refreshing place for meal prep, cooking, and gathering. I had the cupboards painted creamy white and added a white marble countertop. My pottery collection really pops with this neutral setting.It’s never too late to make the changes you want in your home!

Ilene

Never a good time to remodel – sounds perfect!

Janice

What a wonderful, fun article! I just moved and I really like my new kitchen. I listen to music that’s new, young, and full of energy while I try a new recipe. I’m going to try dancing with my refrigerator 😃

Ilene

sounds like a good plan!

Linda

I have always loved being in the kitchen of every house I’ve lived in. My late mother used to sit in her kitchen for peace and quiet and to get away from the madness of family life.

Susie M.

I love being in the kitchen. I love to cook, and it’s sort of the one room in the house that I feel in control of. I have an office, but the kitchen is where I wield the most power, ha ha!

Ilene

Couldn’t agree more!!

Ava

This makes me thoughtful to keep this in mind when I rebuild my kitchen.

Ilene

Yes, I love that Bhec that feeling into the architecture!

Ilene

That should be Build your sanctuary into your plan!

Last edited 1 year ago by Ilene

The Author

Ilene Marcus, inventor of the iLean-Pan (patent pending) and author of Managing Annoying People, solves everyday challenges with bold ideas and a sense of humor. With MSW and MPA degrees from Columbia University, she’s managed over 10,000 employees across nonprofits and government. Ilene now writes, speaks, and creates from the Berkshires, where she lives with her giant golden doodle. Visit her at www.ilenemarcus.com.

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