How to Stop “Blending in” at 60 and Beyond
I believe that later is greater. Of course, I didn’t believe that for a long time. I never really thought about becoming middle-aged or even beyond.
As I’ve shared with many, I never thought about aging because I wasn’t going to let it happen to me.
I was, of course, very wrong.
And now, my mission is to help Midlife women get visible with their style and confidence.
We Matter!
Many of my clients feel that they are invisible. One recently shared, “I am blending in; nobody knows I’m in the room.”
It happens. I’ve felt like this, too, but as I told you earlier, I wasn’t going to age, ha!
I found myself surrounded by people who didn’t value my wisdom, my contributions, or what I had to offer. I, too, felt as if I was unnoticed.
I felt powerless. As if I was watching it happen in slow motion.
Blending in can lead to feelings of not-enough-ness, heading down a slippery hill of no longer caring and even invisibility. It’s not a place where I wanted to be, and it’s what propels me to help women step into their power and magnificence.
Aging is a gift. We don’t have to blend in! And it’s a gift that I want all of you to enjoy!
Before I share my tips, I have a question for all of you.
What do you envision when you read or hear the phrase, “blending in?”
I’ll go first!
I think of makeup since it’s important to make sure that it looks seamless, hence blended!
I also think of a beverage that is concocted in the blender. This could be anything from a smoothie to a margarita.
What I don’t think of when I read or hear the phrase “blending in” is how I am showing up, especially as I age.
The definition of change varies among all of us. What you feel comfortable with may not work for others. Do what works for you. If you’re OK with blending in, that’s great.
If you’re willing to experiment, so you aren’t blending in, wonderful! Here are five tips to help you! Consider one or all of them and have fun!
Accessories
In my opinion, accessories are often overlooked and not fully understood. Accessories can complete your look with little to no effort, depending on what you do with them.
Your style spans from head to toe, and accessories can easily enhance your look. Start with switching up your glasses. Are you wearing the right shape for your face? Consider the color of your frames. I’ve seen many of my clients change their look simply by changing their spectacles!
Do you have a signature accessory? Choosing a pair of earrings, a necklace, bracelet, or ring can help define your style. Select something that has sentimental value to you or reminds you of a happy memory.
A fun bag/purse or shoes can take your outfits from drab to fab.
Hair – Style and Color
This may be my favorite way to look outstanding. When was the last time you changed your hair? Pay attention to hairstyles and colors you like. Have a serious chat with your stylist. Discuss if:
- It aligns with your lifestyle and the shape of your beautiful face
- The cut is one you can easily style and maintain
- Highlights will enhance your look
Your stylist can offer such great insight into haircuts and colors that will work for you. Tap into their expertise and have them teach you how to maintain a cut – tips and tricks of styling using tools and products. Don’t worry; it isn’t difficult. I was truly shocked at how easy it was when I consulted with my stylist on maintaining my new hairstyles and cuts.
Signature Color
Just like your hair, adjusting your color can make a big difference. Maybe it’s time to have your colors done again. I just did (more on this later). Remember, our inherent colors change as we age; what looked good five to 10 years ago may not be the case today. Just think, there’s a signature color or two waiting for you!
And your new colors aren’t just for your clothes. Remember, your style covers the real estate from head to toe, so take advantage of this space. Weave ‘signature color’ in your makeup; change up your lip color, whether it’s lipstick or lip gloss. Or adjust your blush color, and if you wear eye makeup, consider using other colors that enhance your face, from eyeshadow to eyeliner and, yes, even mascara.
A client of mine changed the color of mascara she was wearing from brown to navy, and it made such a difference.
Having your nails filed and polished is always fun and another way to add color to your look. Whether you do your own mani or get one done, experiment with colors. Wear one that expresses who you are and with manis it’s so easy to do this.
Dressing Confidently
Confidence is your best accessory, and I make it easy with the Fiercely50ish Wardrobe Rx Capsules! Capsule wardrobes eliminate guessing what to wear each season as you elevate your look, whether you’re running errands, meeting friends for lunch, volunteering, or really – wherever you’re going or whatever you’re doing.
Imagine the Possibilities
The definition of change varies among all of us. What you feel comfortable with may not work for others. Do what works for you. If you’re fine with blending in, that’s great.
If you’re willing to experiment, so you aren’t blending in, wonderful!
Small steps or bigger ones can make a difference in how we feel and show up. The choices are limitless, and I encourage you to imagine the “what ifs.” And if you don’t love the outcome, change it up to something you do love.
Enjoy the ride as you experiment with ways to stop blending in! Remember, you’re beautiful and worthy every single day!
Let’s Have a Conversation:
What do you envision when you read or hear the phrase, “Blending in?” Have you tried to blend in – or to stand out? What do you do in either direction?
I never heard of that term “blending in” although I have encountered “ageism”. I was rather caught “blindsided” when I was called into the office by the Manager to clarify some issues of concern regarding my memory and potential risk to young children. My supervisor is 30 years old and I am twice her age but surprisingly, she never felt comfortable confronting these issues with me and had to go “over my head” to my Manager. What I believe is happening is the inability to communicate with people in general. What should have been some encouraging comments to support me in those forgetful instances of “locking the inside gate to the kitchen or bathroom”, she didn’t bother to stop and remind me. There were tremendous changes at work and none of the mercy and grace I extended to my colleagues when they forgot such things. Someone said to me that the younger generation don’t know how to communicate as they are always on their digital devices and returning two word responses compared to having a face to face conversation with a person that we did in our times. Thank you for sharing this article and I know how valuable I am to the organization I work for but sometimes, discrimination and ageism does rear its ugly head:(
At least the organization didn’t let you go as many do when the employee reaches a certain age and under the guise of not performing your job properly.
There are places where older employees have to “prove their worth” even after 10 years. I did my job well and still the powers that be started to push me out at 65. They shouldn’t get away with it! I was sent to another location that demanded more of me physically, and it wasn’t necessary. Younger workers did not have to work as hard as I did.
Kathy, when you were sent to another location that demanded m ore of you physically it was to still keep you employed but knowing also that perhaps it would be more difficult for you physically. It is the HR dept. that has a sneaky way of making an employee leave on her own accord. They cannot discriminate because of age so they skirt around it with other tactics
I think a confident smile is worth a lot. I go to the dentist twice a year, gently whiten my teeth once a month, and wear a tooth guard at night to keep my teeth from shifting. (And because I stress grind my teeth when I sleep.)
Also, look OTHER people, especially children, in the eyes with you best “smiley eyes.” A kind face stands out in a weary world.
-Sue
This is great advice. Thank you!
Sue, absolutely! A smile is worth 1000 words!!
My personality is outgoing and eager to visit with friends and new neighbors. However, I am finding joining social groups can be overwhelming and leaning toward setting personal goals just for me. No interaction necessary except being in today. All new projects and personal new challenges. Seems I can pick time adjustments in my retirement. Who might agree??
That is one of the benefits of being retired. Enjoy your freedom!
I totally agree. Social ife is way overhyped.
I’m 72, and I have noticed how invisible I’ve become. People just seem to walk past me. I’m not sure how to become visible again, so this article comes at a good time. I am in the process of losing weight, and will need a complete new wardrobe when I hit my goal, so want to learn some tricks now that I can start learning how to make my wardrobe pop and myself become visible both now and after I reach my weight goal. I’m not good with make-up so mostly just wear a foundation and a bit of blush. My granddaughter is a cosmetologist and hairdresser, so I’m going to pick her brain for new ways to be more noticeable.
When my granddaughter was a teenager, she lived with me for a couple years. She’s absolutely beautiful and had lots of male friends who spent time at our house. At some point, being at my house so much, they’d eventually ask me what they should call me. I always said “fabulous”…even now, quite a few years later, I’ll be in a store and I’ll hear a guy across the way saying “Fabulous! How great to see you!” I am definitely noticeable by everybody when a handsome young man calls me fabulous and gives me a big smile and a hug…though I can’t hire one to follow me around to do that job!
Very nice and losing weight is my goal as I exercise daily and need to behave with snacks. I need a new look even if I attend a simple outing. Thinking about basic straight slacks and white bell sleeve blouses. Hair growth to my mid neck and Auburn colored.
I never blend in. All my life I have always stood out, not in a outlandish way, for me it’s just been my style. Always been an out of the box type of lady and luving it. 63 now and will be the same at 83! 😁
Cheers from jules from Oz 🦋
Good for you. You’re definitely an extrovert!