How to Stop “Blending in” at 60 and Beyond
I believe that later is greater. Of course, I didn’t believe that for a long time. I never really thought about becoming middle-aged or even beyond.
As I’ve shared with many, I never thought about aging because I wasn’t going to let it happen to me.
I was, of course, very wrong.
And now, my mission is to help Midlife women get visible with their style and confidence.
We Matter!
Many of my clients feel that they are invisible. One recently shared, “I am blending in; nobody knows I’m in the room.”
It happens. I’ve felt like this, too, but as I told you earlier, I wasn’t going to age, ha!
I found myself surrounded by people who didn’t value my wisdom, my contributions, or what I had to offer. I, too, felt as if I was unnoticed.
I felt powerless. As if I was watching it happen in slow motion.
Blending in can lead to feelings of not-enough-ness, heading down a slippery hill of no longer caring and even invisibility. It’s not a place where I wanted to be, and it’s what propels me to help women step into their power and magnificence.
Aging is a gift. We don’t have to blend in! And it’s a gift that I want all of you to enjoy!
Before I share my tips, I have a question for all of you.
What do you envision when you read or hear the phrase, “blending in?”
I’ll go first!
I think of makeup since it’s important to make sure that it looks seamless, hence blended!
I also think of a beverage that is concocted in the blender. This could be anything from a smoothie to a margarita.
What I don’t think of when I read or hear the phrase “blending in” is how I am showing up, especially as I age.
The definition of change varies among all of us. What you feel comfortable with may not work for others. Do what works for you. If you’re OK with blending in, that’s great.
If you’re willing to experiment, so you aren’t blending in, wonderful! Here are five tips to help you! Consider one or all of them and have fun!
Accessories
In my opinion, accessories are often overlooked and not fully understood. Accessories can complete your look with little to no effort, depending on what you do with them.
Your style spans from head to toe, and accessories can easily enhance your look. Start with switching up your glasses. Are you wearing the right shape for your face? Consider the color of your frames. I’ve seen many of my clients change their look simply by changing their spectacles!
Do you have a signature accessory? Choosing a pair of earrings, a necklace, bracelet, or ring can help define your style. Select something that has sentimental value to you or reminds you of a happy memory.
A fun bag/purse or shoes can take your outfits from drab to fab.
Hair – Style and Color
This may be my favorite way to look outstanding. When was the last time you changed your hair? Pay attention to hairstyles and colors you like. Have a serious chat with your stylist. Discuss if:
- It aligns with your lifestyle and the shape of your beautiful face
- The cut is one you can easily style and maintain
- Highlights will enhance your look
Your stylist can offer such great insight into haircuts and colors that will work for you. Tap into their expertise and have them teach you how to maintain a cut – tips and tricks of styling using tools and products. Don’t worry; it isn’t difficult. I was truly shocked at how easy it was when I consulted with my stylist on maintaining my new hairstyles and cuts.
Signature Color
Just like your hair, adjusting your color can make a big difference. Maybe it’s time to have your colors done again. I just did (more on this later). Remember, our inherent colors change as we age; what looked good five to 10 years ago may not be the case today. Just think, there’s a signature color or two waiting for you!
And your new colors aren’t just for your clothes. Remember, your style covers the real estate from head to toe, so take advantage of this space. Weave ‘signature color’ in your makeup; change up your lip color, whether it’s lipstick or lip gloss. Or adjust your blush color, and if you wear eye makeup, consider using other colors that enhance your face, from eyeshadow to eyeliner and, yes, even mascara.
A client of mine changed the color of mascara she was wearing from brown to navy, and it made such a difference.
Having your nails filed and polished is always fun and another way to add color to your look. Whether you do your own mani or get one done, experiment with colors. Wear one that expresses who you are and with manis it’s so easy to do this.
Dressing Confidently
Confidence is your best accessory, and I make it easy with the Fiercely50ish Wardrobe Rx Capsules! Capsule wardrobes eliminate guessing what to wear each season as you elevate your look, whether you’re running errands, meeting friends for lunch, volunteering, or really – wherever you’re going or whatever you’re doing.
Imagine the Possibilities
The definition of change varies among all of us. What you feel comfortable with may not work for others. Do what works for you. If you’re fine with blending in, that’s great.
If you’re willing to experiment, so you aren’t blending in, wonderful!
Small steps or bigger ones can make a difference in how we feel and show up. The choices are limitless, and I encourage you to imagine the “what ifs.” And if you don’t love the outcome, change it up to something you do love.
Enjoy the ride as you experiment with ways to stop blending in! Remember, you’re beautiful and worthy every single day!
Let’s Have a Conversation:
What do you envision when you read or hear the phrase, “Blending in?” Have you tried to blend in – or to stand out? What do you do in either direction?
I don’t think I ever “blended in” as I still have a quirkiness even in my 70s. My hair signature color is a beautiful amethyst that I get so many compliments on from both men and women telling me it suits me. Sometimes a woman will say, “Oh, I love your purple hair. I wish I was bold enough to do that!” My answer is “DO IT! It is fun and having purple hair makes me happy! Dare yourself!”” It is important to walk with pride that we’ve made it this far in our lives!
I have just returned from traveling and must tell the “youngsters – 60, 70” who have responded to this is that happily one does not “blend in” in one’s 90’s. I have to employ a wheelchair to get through airports – but there are also times of getting into the lobby – also aloneness at counters – and I find there are wonderful people who dash to give assistance. Without asking for help – there are still many thoughtful and helpful people among us.
I just go with the flow these days. 3 years after moving to Switzerland with my husband’s job I became a housewife for the first time in my life which was a very new experience for me as I’d worked both as an employee and then self employed from the age of 16. It gave me the time to learn some German and do some other online courses.
A few years ago I joined an ex-pat club, but found long time members were in cliques and they didn’t really welcome newcomers. Conversations all seemed to revolve around moaning about what was going on in the countries they’d left behind, or how they’d given up good jobs or careers because their husbands jobs had moved here. I couldn’t stand it so I stopped going as it was depressing me.
As for the “blending in” aspect, in one respect I am aware of doing this – mainly because Switzerland is a very respectful country with rules and regulations that have to be followed and adhered to. However, I love that aspect as it reminds me of how the Britain of my childhood used to be. I will miss Switzerland when I retire to Scotland in a couple of years time.
On an image front I love getting my hair cut and coloured every few weeks, I see an excellent hairdresser who’s from Milan. I’ve also found I can no longer wear colours like red or yellow as they make my skin look sallow now and over the years have toned down my makeup for a more flattering and youthful look.
If blending in means being apart of arrogant, hurtful conversation, I cannot blend. Will not blend. Kindness and gratitude is best blended into each conversation, each interaction. Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. Proverbs 16:24