If This Year Took More Than It Gave, Read This

As this year comes to a close and the festive period is fully upon us, there may be mixed feelings about the 12 months we’re leaving behind.

Some people will look back feeling proud, grateful, and full of joy. Others may be carrying heartache, loneliness, overwhelm, or grief. For some, Christmas brings connection and warmth. For others, it brings pressure, memories, or a quiet dread they don’t always feel able to name.

And if you’re somewhere in between, that’s okay too.

Christmas has a way of amplifying whatever is already there. The emotions, the tiredness, the expectations, the sense that everything should feel a certain way.

If this time of year feels harder than you expected, there’s nothing wrong with that… or you. It happens to many of us. Including me.

A Lot Has Changed for Me Over the Last Few Years

When I look back now, I can see how much has shifted. Not all at once, but gradually, over time. My career path, my outlook, my direction and happiness, have all changed for the better.

But that doesn’t mean the journey here has been easy or that this time of year doesn’t still stir things up.

Back then, I knew I wanted more from life, but I couldn’t put my finger on what wasn’t working. On paper, everything looked dreamy. I was working for a great coaching company, surrounded by good people. Yet, after a while, inside, something felt off.

My energy slowly drained. I didn’t notice it happening at first. I just kept ploughing through. Until one day I realised I was waking up exhausted, unmotivated, and disconnected from myself. I was at a crossroads in my life and most certainly felt “lost.”

Our Surroundings Can Give Us a 180

When my planned trip to South America finally came around, it couldn’t have been better timed. Stepping into a completely different environment changed something in me. I felt lighter. More alive. More myself.

That experience taught me something important: how deeply our surroundings affect how we think, feel, and cope.

Christmas, in its own way, is also an environment shift and not always a gentle one.

For some, it’s full of family, noise, and responsibility. For others, it highlights absence, loss, or the feeling of not quite fitting anywhere.

As a single woman with no children, Christmas can sometimes feel disorientating. Friends and family have their own routines, partners, and plans. No one is doing anything wrong. It’s just life… but it can still feel isolating.

And at the same time, I know parents who feel overwhelmed, stretched thin, and quietly wish they could swap places for a moment of peace.

The Grass Really Is Always Greener

This is my fifth Christmas without my mum. It’s only since losing her that I’ve started to understand how Christmas might have felt for her once we were grown. As children, Christmas was magical. Full of music, laughter, traditions, and togetherness.

Now, those memories come with warmth and sadness all at once.

I’ve also noticed that December is often when my body finally slows me down. After months of pushing through, my energy dips, my immune system crashes, and I’m forced to stop. Perhaps that’s my body’s way of asking me to process what I’ve been too busy to feel.

If any of this feels familiar, you’re not alone…

And you don’t need to fix it.

A Time for Gentleness

This isn’t a time for forcing positivity or pushing through at all costs. This is a time for gentleness. For noticing what’s really going on beneath the surface.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, tired, sad, lonely, or emotionally flat, here are a few gentle ways to help yourself feel just 1% better, not perfect, not joyful, just steadier.

1. Notice What You’re Really Feeling

Sometimes overwhelm shows up as exhaustion. Sometimes sadness shows up as irritability. Sometimes loneliness hides behind busyness.

Ask yourself:

• What am I actually feeling right now?
• Where do I feel it in my body?
• What might this feeling be trying to tell me?

There’s no need to judge or rush this. Awareness alone can soften things.

2. Ask What Would Help, Even a Little

Once you’ve named what’s going on, ask:

What would help me feel 1% better today?

It might be:

• Doing less
• Saying no
• Leaving early
• Having a quiet moment to yourself
• Lowering your expectations

When other people are involved, you can’t control their behaviour, but you can choose how you respond. Give yourself permission to protect your energy where you can.

3. Respond Kindly to What You Need

• If your body needs rest, let it rest.
• If you need space, take it.
• If you need connection, reach out, even in a small way.

You don’t have to earn rest. You don’t have to justify your feelings. And you don’t have to make this season look a certain way.

Whatever this Christmas looks like for you, please remember this:

You are allowed to feel how you feel. You are allowed to slow down. You are allowed to put yourself first sometimes.

You can’t keep giving without refilling your own stocking.

So, if this year took more than it gave, let this be a time to pause rather than push.

Wherever you find yourself this Christmas, I hope you make space for what you need most.

Merry Christmas and I’ll see you in the new year.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Are you glad 2025 is nearly over? Are you looking forward to a new beginning? What are you eager to leave behind?