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How to Make Your Dreams a Reality After Midlife Divorce

By Martha Bodyfelt January 30, 2022 Mindset

At the end of January/early February, you may be feeling one of five ways as a divorced woman. Take your pick! 

#1: Hopeful, because the New Year always presents a clean slate and a chance to start over.

#2: Slightly depressed because it’s now back to reality (and reviewing the credit card bills).

#3: EXHAUSTED because once again, you bent over backwards for everybody else and didn’t take any time for yourself

#4: Scared due to COVID and its new strain of the week… and its ability to wreck your plans.

#5: Uncertain because of being divorced and over 50 and having no idea what’s next for you as you struggle to define yourself, get out of your rut, and start this next chapter of your life with ease.

Minus COVID, I was definitely all of these things back in 2012. When my divorce was finalized, I was a “free woman” with a textbook successful career but having no clue what to do next. 

I did a lot of stupid things after divorce, and it took me a long time to get unstuck, learn from my silly post-divorce mistakes, and finally reclaim my life, my identity, and my purpose. 

You Don’t Want to Walk in My Steps

But what if you don’t have a lot of time to make all those mistakes? What if you’re over 50, divorced, and need things to happen sooner rather than later? 

What if, instead of another year of being stuck in your own head, still operating on the toxic narratives that have held you back for decades, and still not reclaiming the post-divorce life of your dreams, things could be different? 

I want you to imagine what life after divorce at 50 can actually be like for you. 

Take a minute… RIGHT NOW… to write down the following. Not on your phone or computer but get an actual piece of paper and pen and reflect on the following:

#1: Choose One Thing for Yourself 

If you could accomplish JUST ONE INCREDIBLE THING FOR YOURSELF this year, what would that be? It could be leaving your job, finally taking that incredible trip you’ve been dreaming about, exploring that hobby you stopped once you got married, or hiring someone to keep you accountable. 

#2: Record Your Feeling of Achievement

How will it feel once you accomplish that dream at 50? Get specific here. Is it more carefree, joyful, more confident, having a sense of purpose? Write down all the things! 

#3: How Will Your Life Change?

How will working towards (and accomplishing) that dream change your life for the better, even after 50? How will it have a positive impact on your divorce recovery? Your self-worth? Your confidence? Your sense of purpose during this new chapter of your life?

#4: Action Steps

What would you need to do this year to bring this dream to life? Don’t overthink this or start doubting yourself. Just jot down the first thing that comes to mind. 

#5: How Will You Feel If You Don’t Do Anything?

If you don’t take any action to accomplish #1, how will you feel? Get honest with yourself here. Are you going to feel disappointed? Frustrated? Hopeless? Stuck in the same BS patterns that have been holding you back since your divorce? Don’t hold anything back. 

#6: The Most Important Question

What is the ONE thing you will do in the next month to get one step closer to accomplishing your dream? Write this down on a piece of paper. Then write it in your planner and give yourself a deadline. This small action will ignite those dreams and help keep your momentum. 

When we openly acknowledge and define our dreams – especially as divorced women over 50 – we are giving ourselves a second chance at happiness and fulfillment. 

You deserve to plan for joy in your life, no matter if you’re 50, 60, 70, or 80. 

But it’s also your responsibility to work towards that joy. 

I can’t wait to show you just how incredible your life can be after divorce.

So, how about you? What is one incredible thing you plan to accomplish this year as a divorcee over 50? And what will you do this month to get closer to accomplishing it? 

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The Author

Martha Bodyfelt is a divorce recovery coach who helps professional divorced women over 50 overcome their divorce loneliness and break free from the patterns keeping them stuck so they can feel fulfilled, have more fun, and live fearlessly. To find out what's *really* keeping you stuck after divorce, take the 30-second quiz.

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