The process of life has a way of changing how we see ourselves. Women, in order to survive the journey, have to constantly adjust themselves, and often, in doing so, lose sight of who they really are.
Most of us don’t come to this realization until later in life, usually due to a life alternating circumstance that leaves us bewildered and battered. It is at this time that an onslaught of doubt in both the universe and ourselves sets in.
Coming to terms that we are actually in control of very little, including other people and what happens to us, is a bitter pill to swallow. We suddenly feel susceptible to life’s cruel twists of fate and realize that no one gets through unscathed.
When all hope is lost, there is only one option left and that is to finally peek inside of ourselves to get the answers that elude us everywhere else. For some of us, this is simply terrifying. What will we discover about ourselves?
We work hard, for years, to avoid this through denial, self-sabotage, drinking, shopping, and many other forms of escapism. The numbing effects of these are not working like they used to. Questions and emotions are bubbling up through the cracks, shaking the steady ground we thought we stood on.
Some women do this to keep their family intact, some to outrun their feeling of emptiness, others to bury the past, and many due to fear of change. Why or how we do this is not important because eventually, we all run out of rope.
The universe will give us, at first, subtle signs that it is time to stop, listen and go within. Most of us ignore these signs because we have made an art form out of what we call self-protection. So that leaves the universe with no other choice but to circle back and give us a stronger nudge. Nudges come in the form of loss, disappointment, heartbreak, and other unpleasant, soul rattling experiences.
By quieting the mind and going inside ourselves, we can push out the negative self-talk in tiny bursts. It might only last two seconds and come back – but we have won! You pushed it away and in its place you made room for positivity, self-love, and forgiveness.
You will gradually see that the negative self-talk during the day is less frequent and at least you are aware that it’s happening. Now, you are able to push it away or stop and replace it with a positive thought. The good thoughts will outweigh and crush the negative ones.
When you start to get better at going within, you can start to feel your body while meditating. You might be drawn to your lower back, for example, and may even have lower back issues. Just concentrate or put yourself in that part of your body and see what happens.
Just stay with it, you do not have to relive anything or force yourself to remember something. Just stay there, and if feelings come up, acknowledge them and they will float away. We all have light and dark within ourselves. Of course, we want to focus on the light side, but real change comes from exploring and accepting the dark side of ourselves, too. This can be difficult, but it is the core of doing inner work.
I believe that as women, part of our rite of passage later in life is to discover our inner beauty. Perhaps partly due to our outer beauty fading away, we turn inward instead. Whatever the reason, the journey of going inward is always a loving gift to give your self.
Women like us, who have lived, loved and lost, gain wisdom, peace, and self-love. You can’t have one without the other. It’s the light versus dark concept again. But by going within we can transmute the dark and make much more room for the light.
Don’t we want to live the rest of our lives in peace, acceptance, and love? They all are residing inside of us, and we have the power to find them.
What experiences in your life made you feel vulnerable and scared? What things do you do to avoid real self-discovery? Do you know the dark parts of yourself? If yes, how did you discover them?