Is Life After 60 Greener on the Other Side?
Like many women in their 60s, I often hear myself saying that my life would be happier and so much better if only I had:
- more money
- a more understanding partner
- one designer outfit for job interviews
- more time for myself
- a new house
- different friends
- more energy
- a handsome partner
- a flat stomach
- more blog followers
- a long vacation
- better _______ skills
- more time with my grandchildren, etc.
The list is endless. We keep looking for that greener grass ‘over there’ or for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. We think, “If only… then my life would be perfect!”
How long does your satisfaction last after reaching one of those greener pastures? Not very long, I assume. How often have you looked behind you to assess the myriad of things you have accomplished? When have you looked carefully around you to see what you have in your now?
I used to think it was a lot of claptrap when folks talked about ‘counting their blessings’. I am not a religious person, and counting blessings did not resonate with me at all.
Like many before me, as I’ve aged, I have taken the time to really look into myself. I have tried to understand the biology of my being. I am fascinated with how my brain works. And I am beginning to really understand the mind/body connection. It is so powerful.
Connecting with the Present
Today I am getting acquainted with the core me. Like your core muscles need to be strong to keep your body powerful and balanced, your core mind/body connection needs to be strong to give you the strength to deal with life changes and the flexibility to adapt.
Appreciating what you have and where you are in the now is critical to building that core mind/body connection. If I spend too much time thinking about the greener grass ‘over there,’ my mind and body become out of sync. I am not over there. I am here.
Every day I work at living in my now. I make myself stop several times to listen to my internal chatter. Am I feeling ancy or discombobulated? Why am I frustrated? Am I enjoying what I’m doing? Am I even thinking about what I am doing?
So, I stop and focus on some deep breathing. I look around and start listing all of the things that are right in my life. It takes less than a minute.
Reviewing My Gratitude List
Today I can say that I am thankful for:
- a beautiful home
- very loving friends
- a relationship with my daughter that grows stronger each year
- two new knees that don’t hurt
- a very curious mind that keeps learning
- a restless spirit that keeps searching
- a four-legged friend that makes me laugh every day
- the time to reflect on my life
- the ability to look forward to the future.
Making the Most of My Own Green Grass
Oh, there are many things I would like to have, and some things I would like to change. I am not an aesthetic, but I try to put ‘wants’ into perspective. Rarely do any of them count as ‘needs.’
Yes, I would like to spend a month in the South Seas and take a long photo safari in Africa. Not in the budget for this year, but a trip to visit my daughter in Utah is in the budget.
Yes, I would like to have a flat stomach and more energy, but my 21-year-old body is long gone. Still, maybe I can keep this one going for a few more years if I take the stairs instead of the elevator.
Yes, designer clothes would be a grand luxury, but I am learning new knitting techniques to make myself a fabulous sweater. And maybe I’ll bring out the sewing machine.
My greatest realization about myself is that in the core of my being I am a flexible person. I do adapt to the ebb and flow of life. And that is what makes the grass around me very green… and full of flowers.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
Is your own grass green? Do you often think the grass is greener somewhere else? What do you do to make your grass the greenest of them all? Please share your insights and experiences below!
Tags Finding Happiness
Very good article indeed. My grass is indeed green. Unless we walk in another person’s shoes we really have no idea what they are facing each day and night. As I do with my gardens, I nurture and tend to my soul and my heart. I treasure my two children, two grandchildren and recently started dating someone who is honest and makes me happy. What else is there? I have a home I can maintain after my husband died. After he died and I was faced with the contents of “his” shed and tools, etc, I realized then that it was all just “stuff.” I don’t need “stuff.” After everything that was thrown at me up until this point, I can honestly say “Life is very good.” I have always felt the song “I will stand back up” by Sugarland was speaking to me. My grass might not have always been the greenest but it is green, healthy and continues to grow stronger each and every day.
Great article!! Yes, as humans we are always striving for the next thing, or “high” in our lives. It is part of our nature to want to take next steps, or want more. Finding the balance is key. Being present and grateful, yet continuing to move forward. I am trying to balance both of these. I find that when I am yearning and looking forward too often or too many hours in the day, I become restless, bored and often depressed. I need to flip it to being present and grateful most of the day, and looking at the next step only part of the day. When I hit that balance, I’ve had a good day!