Marry, Kiss, Push Off a Cliff: What Are You Really Holding on to?
Marry, kiss, or push off a cliff – maybe someone springs to mind for the latter. However, for the purpose of this blog, we’re not talking about the classic game we used to play in school.
Instead, this is the game of life.
Sometimes, too many things make it into our lives that actually shouldn’t be there; the things we should “push off a cliff,” like remorse, guilt, shame, or jealousy.
Then there are some things we wish we could “stay married to” forever; that sense of freedom, the excitement and joy you feel when you try something new, great friends, a fulfilling job, a healthy lifestyle, a growth mindset, [insert your own]. If only life could always resemble those “married moments.”
And then there are the things that bring a little more excitement or variety into your life; the ones you might flirt with for a while, but which don’t align with your long-term vision, or are simply meant to be enjoyed in the short term. They’re worth a kiss, but not quite marriage material. Think party friends, fun flings or dates, short projects, or freelance gigs that take you away from home. They’re enjoyable briefly, but not stable or sustainable for the long term.
There’s no right or wrong in this game, and everyone’s idea of what to marry, kiss, or push off a cliff will look different. What matters is taking space to breathe, reflect, and look honestly at your life.
Here are some examples across different areas of life to get you started.
Friendships & Social Life
- Marry: Supportive, consistent friends who make you feel safe, seen, and heard.
- Kiss: Seasonal buddies or holiday friends you love to laugh with, but don’t expect deep support from.
- Push off a cliff: The ones who drain you, ignore boundaries, or gossip.
Romantic Relationships
- Marry: Someone who respects you, shares your values, and brings stability and joy.
- Kiss: Fun dates that are playful and help you learn what you want (and don’t want).
- Push off a cliff: Emotional unavailability, repeated disrespect, or anyone who undermines your wellbeing.
Work, Career & Volunteering
- Marry: A role, career, or volunteering path that aligns with your values and strengths, gives you purpose, and allows you to grow.
- Kiss: Short-term gigs, volunteering projects, or side hustles that help you build skills, confidence, or connections, but aren’t forever.
- Push off a cliff: Environments (paid or unpaid) that drain you or demand too much of your time, energy, or soul.
Daily Routines
- Marry: Routines that ground and energise you (journalling, gratitude, movement, ice baths).
- Kiss: A wellness trend you enjoy for a season such as a new podcast series or 30-day challenge.
- Push off a cliff: Habits that drain you or trigger anxiety (doomscrolling, watching the news before bed).
Wellbeing
- Marry: Sleep, nourishing meals, movement, therapy, or coaching (whatever supports the mind, body, and soul).
- Kiss: A spa day, a short wellness course, or a fitness challenge that complements your routine.
- Push off a cliff: Fad diets, energy drinks, or sleep deprivation or anything that leaves you worse off in the long run.
Beliefs
- Marry: Core values that feel true to you (kindness, compassion, integrity).
- Kiss: Helpful reframes or mantras you use while working on deeper change.
- Push off a cliff: Limiting beliefs like “I’m too old,” “I’m not enough,” or “It’s too late” – anything that holds you back.
Money
- Marry: Multiple income streams, budgeting, savings, and a healthy respect for money.
- Kiss: Treats that bring joy but aren’t regular commitments (holidays, a weekend spa trip).
- Push off a cliff: Debt, impulse buying, and spending habits that cause stress.
Home & Possessions
- Marry: Items that bring comfort or joy such as a cosy bed, favourite mug, or garden space.
- Kiss: Pieces that refresh or enhance your space, swapped out now and then.
- Push off a cliff: Clutter or “just in case” items you never use.
Digital
- Marry: Platforms that genuinely connect, support your goals, or help you learn.
- Kiss: Platforms you use for light fun or experimentation.
- Push off a cliff: Mindless scrolling, comparison, and time-wasting.
Hobbies & Travel
- Marry: Activities or trips that nourish you long-term (walking, journalling, sea swims, cultural travel).
- Kiss: Short-lived hobbies or quick getaways that spark joy in the moment.
- Push off a cliff: Hobbies that feel like obligations, or trips that drain rather than refresh you.
Hopefully this has given you some food for thought. I’ve included a worksheet you can use to explore these areas for yourself.
When you do, really home in on the things you need to “push off a cliff” as they belong on your “not-to-do” list.
Feeling ready for a change but not sure where to start? Here is a free worksheet you can download, print out and fill in to help you figure out what’s what in your life.
If you need further help, I offer a free 30-minute Discovery Call where we’ll focus entirely on you; your current crossroads, the changes you’d love to make, and the obstacles that might be getting in the way. It’s a relaxed, no-pressure space to see if coaching is the right fit and to give you a taste of what’s possible when you start putting yourself back on the map.
Click here to book your free Discovery Call.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
I hope you’ve enjoyed this exercise. I’d love to know: in your life, what would you ‘marry, kiss, or push off a cliff’? What’s good for you? What needs to go? Which beliefs, habits, or thought patterns are you committed to, still entertaining, or finally ready to release?
Tags Empowerment
I think this way of thinking is brilliant! It makes it easy to picture things that are keepers, some things that are good for a moment or two, and things that no longer hold interest or value. And by the way, I have been acquiring French for two years through the website of Alice Ayel who also commented on your post. I am 75 years old and have made great progress acquiring French through seeing, listening, hearing, saying, writing and thinking French. She has a fabulous approach to the language.
Hi Margot,
Super glad it resonated with you! Sometimes having a simple but different way to look at things really helps. Well done to you on learning French. It’s great to be learning new things. Alice’s approach seems super interesting and effective – keep up the great work!! I’m learning Spanish at the moment and loving it, but it’s much better when you have a teacher who can make it easy to understand and learn. Keep me posted on how you get on with the exercise. I’d love to know what makes your list :-)
Margot,
Thank you so much for this incredibly kind comment! 💕 Reading about your French acquisition journey at 75 absolutely made my day! 🌟
You’re living proof that age is not a barrier – it’s actually an advantage when paired with the right method and mindset.
I’m so honored to be part of your French adventure, and I’m deeply grateful that you took the time to share your experience here. Comments like yours inspire not just me, but everyone who reads them and thinks “Maybe I can do this too!”
Keep enjoying your French journey – you’re doing beautifully! 📚✨
With gratitude and admiration, Alice 🌸
Thank you, Alice. I truly love your program and all it has to offer. Your enthusiasm for learning and acquiring French and your heartfelt support of all who have joined you on the path is contagious.
Thank you for this very thoughtful list. I have pushed off the cliff, ending a relationship that didn’t serve me well, and invested a lot of volunteer time in helping others, however draining it has been.
You are welcome. Good for you in making that step to honour yourself. It’s so important – if something doesn’t serve us and/or becomes detrimental to our mental or physical wellbeing, then it’s got to go! Well done you!
What a brilliant framework for examining our lives! As someone who teaches French to learners over 50, I see this “marry, kiss, push off a cliff” approach playing out beautifully with my students all the time.
Here’s my own example related to Language Learning After 50:
Marry: Story-based learning methods that make French feel natural and joyful. My students consistently tell me they wish they’d discovered this approach decades ago instead of struggling through grammar drills in school! Also marrying the belief that “your mature brain is actually BETTER at language patterns” – because it’s true and transformative.
Kiss: Those exciting language apps and trendy methods that spark initial enthusiasm. They’re fun for motivation and variety, but they’re not the deep, sustainable relationship with French that creates lasting fluency.
Push off a cliff: The toxic belief that “I’m too old to learn languages” and the shame around not being “perfect” immediately. I watch amazing women in their 60s and 70s achieve incredible French breakthroughs once they release these limiting thoughts!
Your framework also made me think about how many of my students are doing this life audit naturally as they enter this phase. They’re finally ready to “marry” their authentic interests (like that dream trip to Provence!) and “push off the cliff” all those shoulds and supposed-tos that held them back.
Thank you for such a practical and empowering way to think about life choices💕
Hi Alice, you are very welcome. And wow how amazing that you‘ve adapted it to apply to language learning. In fact, it’s something that can be applied to anything with a bit of creativity. Sometimes it really is the simple things (like a game played in school) that can help us with decisions (both big and small) about how we wish to live our lives. Sometimes simple is just what we need. Let me know how you get on.
Thank you so much, Nadia. I truly appreciate your kind words. You’re right! Sometimes the simplest things offer the most profound guidance. What I’m aiming for is a joyful approach to language learning, one that brings curiosity and warmth rather than pressure. I look forward to sharing how the journey unfolds.
I really appreciated the examples you used as life has so many components and we often don’t see our way through the fog of indecision! Thank you for creating clarity in so many aspects.
Yes I get that completely, it certainly does have many components and it can be hard to cut through it all. Thank you for your kind words. I hope it helps.
This is so cool. I love the worksheets and the concepts presented in this thoughtful article. Thank you!
You are very welcome Eileen, have fun putting together your list ;-)