Marry, Kiss, Push Off a Cliff: What Are You Really Holding on to?

Marry, kiss, or push off a cliff – maybe someone springs to mind for the latter. However, for the purpose of this blog, we’re not talking about the classic game we used to play in school.

Instead, this is the game of life.

Sometimes, too many things make it into our lives that actually shouldn’t be there; the things we should “push off a cliff,” like remorse, guilt, shame, or jealousy.

Then there are some things we wish we could “stay married to” forever; that sense of freedom, the excitement and joy you feel when you try something new, great friends, a fulfilling job, a healthy lifestyle, a growth mindset, [insert your own]. If only life could always resemble those “married moments.”

And then there are the things that bring a little more excitement or variety into your life; the ones you might flirt with for a while, but which don’t align with your long-term vision, or are simply meant to be enjoyed in the short term. They’re worth a kiss, but not quite marriage material. Think party friends, fun flings or dates, short projects, or freelance gigs that take you away from home. They’re enjoyable briefly, but not stable or sustainable for the long term.

There’s no right or wrong in this game, and everyone’s idea of what to marry, kiss, or push off a cliff will look different. What matters is taking space to breathe, reflect, and look honestly at your life.

Here are some examples across different areas of life to get you started.

Friendships & Social Life

• Marry: Supportive, consistent friends who make you feel safe, seen, and heard.
• Kiss: Seasonal buddies or holiday friends you love to laugh with, but don’t expect deep support from.
• Push off a cliff: The ones who drain you, ignore boundaries, or gossip.

Romantic Relationships

• Marry: Someone who respects you, shares your values, and brings stability and joy.
• Kiss: Fun dates that are playful and help you learn what you want (and don’t want).
• Push off a cliff: Emotional unavailability, repeated disrespect, or anyone who undermines your wellbeing.

Work, Career & Volunteering

• Marry: A role, career, or volunteering path that aligns with your values and strengths, gives you purpose, and allows you to grow.
• Kiss: Short-term gigs, volunteering projects, or side hustles that help you build skills, confidence, or connections, but aren’t forever.
• Push off a cliff: Environments (paid or unpaid) that drain you or demand too much of your time, energy, or soul.

Daily Routines

• Marry: Routines that ground and energise you (journalling, gratitude, movement, ice baths).
• Kiss: A wellness trend you enjoy for a season such as a new podcast series or 30-day challenge.
• Push off a cliff: Habits that drain you or trigger anxiety (doomscrolling, watching the news before bed).

Wellbeing

• Marry: Sleep, nourishing meals, movement, therapy, or coaching (whatever supports the mind, body, and soul).
• Kiss: A spa day, a short wellness course, or a fitness challenge that complements your routine.
• Push off a cliff: Fad diets, energy drinks, or sleep deprivation or anything that leaves you worse off in the long run.

Beliefs

• Marry: Core values that feel true to you (kindness, compassion, integrity).
• Kiss: Helpful reframes or mantras you use while working on deeper change.
• Push off a cliff: Limiting beliefs like “I’m too old,” “I’m not enough,” or “It’s too late” – anything that holds you back.

Money

• Marry: Multiple income streams, budgeting, savings, and a healthy respect for money.
• Kiss: Treats that bring joy but aren’t regular commitments (holidays, a weekend spa trip).
• Push off a cliff: Debt, impulse buying, and spending habits that cause stress.

Home & Possessions

• Marry: Items that bring comfort or joy such as a cosy bed, favourite mug, or garden space.
• Kiss: Pieces that refresh or enhance your space, swapped out now and then.
• Push off a cliff: Clutter or “just in case” items you never use.

Digital

• Marry: Platforms that genuinely connect, support your goals, or help you learn.
• Kiss: Platforms you use for light fun or experimentation.
• Push off a cliff: Mindless scrolling, comparison, and time-wasting.

Hobbies & Travel

• Marry: Activities or trips that nourish you long-term (walking, journalling, sea swims, cultural travel).
• Kiss: Short-lived hobbies or quick getaways that spark joy in the moment.
• Push off a cliff: Hobbies that feel like obligations, or trips that drain rather than refresh you.

Hopefully this has given you some food for thought. I’ve included a worksheet you can use to explore these areas for yourself.

When you do, really home in on the things you need to “push off a cliff” as they belong on your “not-to-do” list.

Feeling ready for a change but not sure where to start? Here is a free worksheet you can download, print out and fill in to help you figure out what’s what in your life.

If you need further help, I offer a free 30-minute Discovery Call where we’ll focus entirely on you; your current crossroads, the changes you’d love to make, and the obstacles that might be getting in the way. It’s a relaxed, no-pressure space to see if coaching is the right fit and to give you a taste of what’s possible when you start putting yourself back on the map.

Click here to book your free Discovery Call.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

I hope you’ve enjoyed this exercise. I’d love to know: in your life, what would you ‘marry, kiss, or push off a cliff’? What’s good for you? What needs to go? Which beliefs, habits, or thought patterns are you committed to, still entertaining, or finally ready to release?