When you are in a beautiful romantic relationship or you achieve a big goal in life, the experience can produce unimaginable levels of joy and security. They can also be frustratingly elusive to get and sustain.
When romantic love does not work out, or your efforts to manifest your dreams appear to come up short, the effects on your well-being can be devastating. Nowhere is this more acute than how you perceive your worthiness to be, do, and have what your heart desires after 60.
In this second of a seven-part series on The Seven Myths of Love & Happiness™, for Sixty and Me readers, we are going to unravel the Myth of Self-Worth.
Predicated on the belief your sense of worth and value comes from how others see you, the Myth of Self-Worth strips you of your inner power and dims the spotlight on your true, authentic self.
Like all the myths, the Myth of Self-Worth creates a formidable obstacle to loving yourself from within by distracting you with an outer reality that appears enticing while simultaneously limited and unchangeable.
In this case, the Myth of Self-Worth keeps you from developing a healthy, loving relationship with your authentic self by redirecting your focus on seeking for validation and worthiness from outside sources.
For instance, when the Myth of Self-Worth is intertwined with the Myth of Scarcity, your perceived options for love, security, and happiness after 60 appear to be limited. Add to this the unfulfilling nature of people pleasing, and it is only a matter of time before the compounding effects of unworthiness set in.
As we covered in the article on the Myth of Scarcity, your mind creates your outer reality based on what you believe is real. To change your outer reality, you must be willing to first change what you expect from your reality.
A crucial step to change what you expect from your outer reality is gaining clarity on how self-worth became distorted and turned inside-out for so many women, perhaps even for yourself.
A lot of women over 60 were raised and educated to conform to what others needed them to be. In most cases, what others needed from the women in their life, be it family, romantic relationships, or at work, was to make them feel good about themselves.
What that meant for many women in our generation was feeling worthy and good about yourself was inexplicably tied to how others around you felt. This created unhealthy co-dependent relationships where the idea of being happy was a roller coaster ride across the vast spectrum of emotional highs and lows.
A significant outside influence for all of this are toxic narratives about love and scarcity distributed by the media. Carefully weaving fear and scarcity into the storylines of what is realistic for women over 60 to expect in life can shift even the most positive of women into a state of quiet despair.
Is it any wonder then that how you feel about yourself from within is directly related to what you expect from your outer reality?
To change your outer reality to one you desire, and ensure your sense of self-worth is impossible to shake, it is necessary to take back your inner power that was unknowingly given away to outside influences.
Here are three sure-fire ways to do that:
The Myth of Self-Worth places your attention on either a time in the past when it seemed life was better for you, or sets your attention on the future, where life appears to get more difficult.
Focus instead on your present moment and create a regular habit of offering genuine gratitude for what you have in your life now. Reinforce this by acknowledging your worthiness to receive even more.
There are two primary voices you speak to yourself through. Improving your sense of worthiness often comes down to which one you trust.
Your inner critic speaks to you through fear, scarcity, and your limiting beliefs. Your authentic voice carries a distinctly different vibration and tone. Your authentic voice speaks to you from a place of true love and honors your worthiness.
Create time to consciously observe how your limiting beliefs are connected to your inner dialogue. Pay careful attention to these two voices and begin trusting the infallible guidance of your authentic, true voice.
Of all the parts of you, the one that is most affected by the Myth of Self-Worth is your inner child. She is a direct conduit to true love and genuine happiness. Create time each day to connect with her consciously, lovingly, and playfully.
To help you further integrate what you have learned, in my video for this article, I will guide you through an inspiring journal prompt and ten empowering affirmations to overwrite the Myth of Self-Worth.
What do you believe about your self-worth? Does it depend on your inner state or outside factors? Who or what influences your self-worth the most?