Romance Scams: It’s a Whole New World
My oh my, how times have changed! Super-powered by AI technology, romance scams today are ever evolving and even more dangerous than ever. So, it’s always good for online daters to be reminded about the importance of staying safe, and even more valuable, how to do it. How to stop the scammers in their tracks. Once scammers are shut down, online dating becomes a far more enjoyable experience.
Celebrity Imposter Scams
Celebrities have long been at the center of scams created by fraudsters who come up with all kinds of illegal plots to solicit money from fans. They trick people by pretending to be someone they’re not – all to gain access to their money, financial accounts, and personal information.
The imposter scams ask fans to send money in order to collect a prize, donate to a charity, or buy an endorsed product, such as cosmetics, hair care products, and kitchen items. Celebrities may be involved in legitimate causes, but many high-profile celebrities are also victimized by having their identities stolen to commit fraud.
The rise of AI has made it easier for scammers to clone celebrity faces, expressions, and voices. According to McAfee, the online security firm, these so-called deepfake videos have become incredibly common. McAfee has released a list of the top celebrities and influencers targeted by deepfake fraudsters. Taylor Swift sits at the top of the list both in the U.S. and globally. Others on the lists include Scarlett Johansson, Jenna Ortega, Tom Cruise, and Brad Pitt.
Celebrity Romance Scams
Sadly, people looking for love are sometimes victimized by fraudsters looking for money.
In one case, a woman in France lost $850,000 in a scam in which someone claiming to be the actor Brad Pitt engaged in a long-distance relationship with her for a year. Eventually, the scammer told her he needed a kidney transplant. She even received a photo of Pitt in a hospital bed. The photo was a fake as was the scammer’s claim that all his money was tied up in his divorce proceedings with Angelina Jolie.
By then, the woman was so deeply in love with the man whom she thought was Brad Pitt that she cleaned out her bank account and sent the fraudster nearly a million dollars. To date, no one has been arrested in the scam. The real Brad Pitt issued a statement saying it’s awful that scammers take advantage of the strong bond between fans and celebrities. He urged people to never respond to unsolicited online communications.
Other celebrities have also spoken out about scammers using their likenesses. Reese Witherspoon, Sandra Bullock, and Tom Hanks have all warned their fans about scams, with Hanks saying, “Do not lose your hard-earned money.”
A Double Whammy
I thought I’d seen it all when it comes to romance scams, but in a recent case a woman accused of being a scammer also claimed to be a victim! Police in North Carolina arrested a woman for allegedly scamming a man out of at least $100,000. The man told police he thought he was investing his money in a company called “Tesla 1.” Police say the woman used the money to purchase cryptocurrency.
But when questioned by police, the woman claimed she was the victim of an online romance scam. She thought she was in a relationship with Tesla founder Elon Musk. She said she agreed to help “Elon Musk” buy cryptocurrency. The woman admitted that she eventually realized she was duped, but police say that didn’t stop her continuing her scam. No one has been arrested for pretending to be Elon Musk.
Over the years, I’ve closely followed the latest news about online dating and romance scams. I also lived it, having online dated on and off for 13 years. I learned many lessons about romance scams as I detected the scammers and tossed them to the curb.
I was lucky, but there are millions of Americans who fall victim to the scammers. New research by AARP shows that nearly one in ten adults 50 or older have fallen for romance scams. Even more alarming, nearly half of those older than 50 aren’t aware of scammers’ tactics. The scams are costly. According to the Federal Trade Commission, romance scams cost victims an average of $2,000, the highest reported loss for any type of imposter scam.
Don’t Be a Victim!
The best way to avoid becoming the victim of a romance scam is to know the red flags. During the years I online dated, I perused hundreds and hundreds of dating profiles. Over time, I became quite proficient in spotting suspicious profiles.
Bad Grammar When Messaging
I would find profiles that were eloquent, clever, and very well written, but when I messaged the person behind the profile I found they could barely string together a sentence. Bad spelling, grammar and punctuation when compared to the profile is a big red flag. If something doesn’t feel right or words don’t add up, block the profile and move on.
Love Bombing
“Love Bombing” is another big red flag. When someone showers you with attention and words of affection it may feel good at first, but beware. Remember, the person on the other end is a stranger. Love bombing is a classic tactic designed to manipulate the victim into trusting the perpetrator, who eventually may ask for money. If someone you’ve never met asks for money, it’s a huge red flag and very possibly a fraud.
Moving Communication Away from Safe Sites
If someone asks you to move off the dating site, that’s a red flag. Whenever I was asked to communicate on another platform I would always decline, and usually the person on the other end would disappear. It was a sure sign that person was a scammer.
Verify Identities
It’s OK to trust someone, but you must also verify. Go slowly, ask questions, and examine photos. You can verify identities through Google Images, TinEye, and several other tools. If you find, for example, that the photo in the profile is the same photo found on a model’s website, that’s a big red flag. Chances are the profile is a fake. Block, delete, and report the profile to the dating site you’re on.
It can be depressing to think that there are so many scammers out there ready to pounce. But once you educate yourself about romance scams, how they work, and what you can do to protect yourself, it can be very empowering. It gives you control over your dating experience. That’s what I found once I learned how to date smart. Dating became fun again and it could be for you too.
Let’s Have a Conversation.
Have you ever been the victim of a romance scam? If so, what happened? Have you ever come across someone you suspected was a scammer? What were the signs?
Back in 2010, before I met my present husband in 2012, I ran into many scammers. You wouldn’t believe the stories they told me in order for me to send them money. Luckily, I didn’t fall for any of them. I found that a lot of them had been located in Africa although they said they were in the US. It was just amazing. Yes, a lot of them didn’t know grammar or spelling when they were writing to me. Many times I had wanted to speak to them on the phone and they came up with excuses as to why the phone conversations wouldn’t occur – they tried to call me but the call wouldn’t go through, they were away on business and there’s a big time difference, and other excuses. For the ones that I was able to speak to briefly, it sounded like they had a British accent. Most of them told me they were in the mining/gemology business. LOL. Then they’d ask for money for some tragic reason. A few of the writings went on for several months without any intentions of meeting, some of them I was able to spot right away and I cut it off. And most of them went right away into the “I love you” mode. I would say to them “how could you love me when we haven’t even met yet”. I’m so glad I don’t need to do this anymore.
I don’t believe in a lot of back and forth communication online. My limit was 50 miles distant because I wouldn’t be looking for a long distance relationship, which, in my opinion, is not realistic. I insisted upon meeting for lunch, no coffee dates, either, because then it’s more like a date instead of an interview. Daytime meets in public places are safe. I let the man do the choosing of restaurants unless they wanted me to; I found that their choices were revealing as well.
I so agree with everything you write about. I too said no to long distance relationships.Early on in my dating life I was open to it, but like you, I eventually felt it wasn’t realistic. I too did not like coffee dates because they felt too much like a work meeting. While most of my dates were at night, I always met in public places and I would l also let the guy choose the restaurant if he wanted.
Thanks for your reply. I want to mention that the reason I wanted to meet sooner rather than later, is because there is nothing like actually seeing someone in person. Are they who they said they are, how recent (or ancient) is their photo, etc? One man wouldn’t take his hat off in the restaurant (why?) and one guy showed up in slovenly clothing.
When I was online dating I absolutely insisted on meeting as soon as possible. I wasn’t a fan of dragging things out by having long email exchanges. I found some men seemed like they only wanted to be pen pals. When others were evasive, they usually dropped off my radar, which was a good thing. I’ve written about bad photos too. As time went on current photos were a must. One date I vividly remember was a man who looked at least 20 years older than his profile photo. When I asked him about it, he said he didn’t have any recent photos. Really? Come on! I ended that date as quickly as I could. And the one date I almost walked out on as a guy who showed up looking like he just rolled out of bed, wearing a crappy backpack as if he was just out of college. When I told him he looked like he just rolled out of bed, he admitted that yes, he did! I made him go into the washroom and comb his hair. (We were at a nice restaurant) That date too ended quickly. Your instincts are spot on! The more boundaries the better!
I happen to know à.man who looks like an angel but he’s on many dating sites. He says his wife and he are separated. In fact, they do.live and work in different countries but they are still married. You would not suspect this man at all.
At the minimum he seems be disingenuous. Being on a bunch of dating sites and still being legally married, it sounds like he likes to play around. I would never consider dating a man who was separated and still married. I’d always tell them to get back to me after they’re divorced. Of course, they never did. Thanks for the feedback!
He went out with a lovely woman, à widow friend of mine. He strung her along for ages and then said, “He can’t leave his wife because he has children”. Naturally, he had promised her that his marriage was ending and my friend and he would be together. I tried to warn my friend to be realistic. She was grieving at the time and VERY vulnérable. I’m not sure if he got what he wanted but she certainly did not. She told me.
They don’t always disappear when you decline to go to another platform. I tell them that I live in a rural area with limited cell coverage (true) and that since I don’t have reliable cell service, I don’t have a smartphone (not true…). Most will accept that & keep talking…However, they always disappear when you decline to send money as I always do.
Asking for money is a huge red flag. You are wise to say no. And keep setting those boundaries. Boundaries are good.They help keep you safe.