For many women, diving into the world of online dating can be fearful, uncertain, and emotional. Online dating platforms are foreign to those of us who haven’t dated in decades, but they are a wonderful way to find love – one in four couples who married in 2019 met online!

So, while it’s natural to have a few concerns, there is nothing to fear! Below are tips to help you gain confidence and online date successfully in your second act.

Have a Great Attitude

My clients at 33 Thousand Dates who have success with online dating come into the process with an open, positive, adventure-seeking attitude. In our recent survey of a thousand singles, men said that their biggest turn off on a first date is negativity.

A pessimistic outlook can cloud who you really are when meeting new people, but if you focus on what makes you happy, your personality will shine, especially during these tough times when everyone is a bit down.

Embrace Your Age

The aforementioned positive mindset will make you feel good on the inside, and to make yourself feel good on the outside, give yourself a little glow up.

The new year welcomes a fresh start, and we all deserve a mini makeover after all that 2020 has put us through. But keep in mind that no one expects you to look, act, and dress like you’re 28 years old.

If you don’t know where to start, consult friends who you admire or message an Instagram acquaintance who has hair to die for (don’t be shy, she’ll be flattered!). The pandemic has welcomed so many virtual offerings as well, so you can easily take a Zoom makeup lesson on how to make your eyes pop.

Nordstrom also has some fantastic beauty tutorials, and while you’re on the site, book a virtual styling appointment to help pull together a few date outfits. If you’re in the market to elevate your looks more permanently, Botox and fillers can be a fantastic solution and are natural-looking if administered by a pro (not a physician’s assistant or a dentist!).

Feel Sexy and Don’t Disregard Sex

Sex – yes, I said it, SEX. Hell yes, we are still having sex, but the reality is that as women age, we have different chemical reactions in our bodies to sex. Make an appointment with your gynecologist, and talk about menopause, dryness, and any other concerns.

There are simple solutions to a variety of issues that will alleviate any concerns when a relationship progresses to this stage. For a confidence booster, bury the sweats and flannel pajamas you’ve been lounging in during quarantine, and invest in a couple Journelle nighties or Lunya silk sets.

There are killer sales right after the holidays, so pick out some darling pieces and your confidence will soar. And get the idea that ‘men want only younger women’ out of your head as it’s a partial fallacy – some do but most don’t, and you certainly don’t want the ones who do.

Recently, a 53-year-old client went to brunch with a 56-year-old man – he told her his last date was 38 and talked about Dua Lipa and Taylor Swift, leading him to ask himself, “What am I doing here? She reminded me of my daughters!” Now he’s been dating my client for over two months.  

Be Proactive

Once you choose the right dating app or platform (start with only one or two so that you don’t feel overwhelmed!), take a positive and proactive approach. Feeling empowered to take control of your dating destiny and choose the people you want to meet is where the success in online dating lies.

When your profile goes live, you’ll be bombarded by ‘likes’ and messages, and while it may be a temporary ego boost, most will not be who you’re looking for! You need to set filters, ignore any off-putting responses, and send the first message.

Consider hiring a dating coach to help you craft an eye-catching profile that reflects your individuality – they can even help you choose your photos, which can be the hardest part!

Leave the Advice to the Professionals

Avoid talking about your online dating journey with your friends, family, and children. This may come as a surprise, but you don’t want their negative energy – people love to tell their disastrous online dating stories, or if they haven’t online dated before, they’ll likely express shock or pity.

My golden retriever and I are super friendly on our daily walks, and I inevitably get asked what I do. When I say I’m an online dating expert, I often receive a frozen or horrified smile, but I just laugh and tell them there’s over 100 million singles in America, and that I’ve played a part in over 4,200 marriages. Their reactions sure do change!

Now, let’s raise our glasses to the new year, online dating, a positive mindset – and meeting the next love of your life!

Have you decided to check out online dating? What fears are you experiencing as a result of this decision? Have you done anything to overcome those fears? What strategy seems most effective for you? Please share below!

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