The Unexpected Changes That Come with Personal Growth

Personal growth is great and is something that I want to continue doing for the rest of my life. I mean, who wants to become stagnant and stop growing? Have you heard the saying, ‘use it or lose it’? Well, that isn’t just geared towards our muscles; it’s also true of our wonderful brains. Just like our physical muscles, our mindset requires conscious practice to maintain and grow.

Our brain is not wired to keep us happy; it’s wired to keep us safe, to survive, to stay alive. If you aren’t actively training your mind to grow, your brain scraps those new connections and defaults right back to survival mode.

Now, as much as I want to continue growing – I expect many of you do too, and of course it sounds wonderful in theory – but what is often overlooked is that sometimes personal growth can also be uncomfortable.

Uncomfortable because, along with growth, inevitably some things can change.

Relationships Might Change

You might have been a people pleaser or that person who never says no, despite it eating into your own time, energy and wellbeing.

Growing might mean you start putting your best resource first – you! And so, you learn to say no, implement healthy boundaries, stop people pleasing and start to shift your priorities.

And sometimes not everyone is comfortable with that, and that’s okay. Not everyone will grow in the same direction or at the same pace.

Feeling Alone

You might also start to feel a little more alone or that you don’t fit into your old circles anymore. You are no longer interested in small talk, negativity or idle gossip.

It’s hard when this happens and it can be that awkward in-between stage. However, you can always meet like-minded people by getting yourself out to classes or events that align with your newfound growth. What’s going on in your area that aligns with your interests or goals?

You Are Less Likely to Settle

You now know what you want, and this is a good thing. But some might see that as being difficult or set in your ways. All it means is that you have decided what is important to you and what standards you wish to stick to. If something isn’t right for you or isn’t working, you’re less likely to go for it or stick around.

This might be in relation to work you want to pursue, relationships, friendships or how you spend your time. There’s a difference between compromising and settling for something that doesn’t serve you anymore, and there’s nothing wrong with having boundaries, goals, expectations or standards for your life. In fact, it’s super healthy.

It’s important to note that growth doesn’t solve everything. There will still be days when you are tested, when you doubt yourself, get angry, frustrated or feel you are slipping back into old ways.

The important thing to remember is that this is also normal. We are only human. We can still have bad days and we can still make mistakes. In those moments, remember how far you have come and be kind to yourself.

Emotions are natural and we can’t all be super ‘Zen’ all the time. So don’t beat yourself up. Be kind to yourself.

My Process of Growth

I’m currently in a process of growth and noticing how things are slowly changing around me. In one sense, it’s sad because it’s a different way of living, and along with that, how I interact with some people is also changing, as I’m not into the same things and vice versa.

So, the life I once knew is slowly transitioning.

And on one hand, that can feel a little unsettling at times. On the other hand, I am also learning to accept that the one constant is change, and that relationships or situations can’t last forever, and definitely not in the same capacity as they once did.

And that’s fine.

If any of this resonates with you and you’re feeling stuck, at a crossroads, or simply ready for a change, I offer complimentary Discovery Calls.

Sometimes it helps to have a conversation with someone outside of your situation. Someone who can listen, ask the right questions and help you explore what comes next.

Question for You:

Have you experienced any unexpected downsides to personal growth? Perhaps you’ve found yourself setting new boundaries, outgrowing old habits, or feeling a little disconnected from people and situations that once felt familiar. I’d love to hear about your experiences in the comments below.