Romancing the Woman You’ve Become

For many years I lived miles away from my body. The truth was that I really didn’t like her (or me) very much. She never looked as I wanted her to look and seemed to have episodes when she behaved very badly; for example, when she refused to lose the weight I demanded her to lose or felt sick and tired when I needed my body to be all systems go and in excellent form.

What I didn’t understand back then as a young woman was that my dear body was simply responding in the best way that she could to the way that I was treating her, thinking about her and talking about her.

Learning to Listen

Our body is always responding to everything we do, feel, say and think. When we are caught up in anxiety or stress, our sympathetic nervous system is activated, and we may feel frozen or geared up for a fight. Or, as in many cases, we simply want to flee from how we feel.

As a life, body confidence and joyful ageing coach, I know only too well the impact that this can have on the way that we feel and more importantly, the way that we experience and live our lives. My book, Romancing Your Body explores how to come home to your body and live the fullest, most joyful expression of who you are.

This article goes a little further and looks at why it is so vital that you romance the woman you’ve become and truly appreciate your amazing body, mind, heart and soul.

Celebrating Your Journey

As women over 60, we are not often celebrated for all that we have learned and who we have become and are becoming. In fact, many women feel invisible, forgotten about or simply neglected in today’s youth obsessed culture.

For me, there came a time in my life when the external noise of who I should be, could be or would be began to quiet – not because the world got softer, but because I had finally stopped needing its approval.

This is the sacred threshold many women cross after 60: a gentle, yet powerful passage into a deeper relationship with themselves. And what better way to honor this chapter than to romance and celebrate the woman you’ve become?

Not the girl you once were. Not the mother, the wife, the worker, or the caregiver others needed. But you – in your wholeness, in your knowing, in your wrinkles that tell stories, and in the silences you’ve earned the right to keep.

A Love Story with Yourself

Romancing the woman you are is a practice, it’s a mindset and a feeling. But ultimately, it’s an embodiment… a powerful and deeply personal sense of coming home to yourself and fully occupying your own skin.

This kind of romance isn’t just candlelight and whispered words, although that is beautiful too. At its heart, it’s being attentive. It’s showing up again and again for what matters. And as a woman over 60, you are what matters. So, begin by turning your attention inward.

Ask yourself: What does my soul hunger for now? What have I postponed, diluted, or hidden away for the sake of others? What is it that truly fulfils me now?

Maybe it’s the dance class you never took. The book you want to write. The garden you ache to grow. Or simply mornings with no agenda but to watch the light move across your kitchen wall. Whatever it is, romance her – the woman who still dreams, who still yearns, even if she’s been quiet for years.

Beauty Redefined

The world has long tried to sell women a version of beauty meant to expire by midlife. However, beauty, real beauty, deepens with time. It gathers in the curve of your smile, the depth in your eyes, the wisdom of your inner knowing and the way you hold space for yourself and others. It lives in your boundaries and blooms in your freedom and presence.

To romance yourself is to see this beauty with fresh eyes – to dress for your own delight, to move in ways that feel sensual, joyful and free, to wear lipstick just because you want to. Or not. Because the power lies in choice now, not in pleasing.

Run your fingers across your skin and thank it for holding you this long. Look in the mirror and choose kindness over critique. This is you. Here you are. You survived the storms, you navigated the paths that felt unfamiliar and scary, you rose to the challenges, opened your heart to love, to joy, to change and to healing.

You’re not the same woman you were 10 years ago – or even last week. That’s the point. You are not meant to be static. You are a living work of art. Paint new strokes. Speak new truths. Let your hair go silver, or dye it wild purple. Start over. Start small. Start wherever you are. But start.

You are not starting from scratch. You are starting from experience.

Romancing yourself means being your own best companion in this evolution, cheering every messy, magnificent, brave and beautiful step forward.

Make Time Sacred Again

At 65, I find myself cherishing the sweet, ordinary moments of my day. Even the moments that sometimes feel more challenging, I try to embrace with gratitude. I am here to live them. I am here to learn and grow from them. I am still learning, still becoming, still evolving.

Whenever I feel myself hurrying through my day, I pause and say to myself, “I have all the time in the world” and this gentle mantra helps me to calm and soften into the moments that are unfolding. Time is no longer a race; it’s a rhythm. And we are all allowed – invited – to make it sacred again.

Light the candles, even if you’re dining alone. Use the good china. Take the long bath, not just for cleanliness but for ceremony. Romance the hours of your day by infusing them with presence and pleasure.

This is not self-indulgence. This is self-devotion.

You Are the Love of Your Life

This is perhaps the greatest romance of all: realizing that you are the love of your life.

Yes, others may come and go. Children may grow, partners may shift, friends may wander. But you are with yourself until the end. So, choose to love this woman you have become and are becoming. Devote yourself to her dreams. Forgive her missteps. Celebrate her courage.

Buy yourself the flowers. Write yourself the love letters. Treat yourself to my beautiful guided meditation, “Romancing the woman you’ve become,” and make this part of your daily practice of self-care. Plan the dates that make your heart sing. Hold your own hand when the nights are long. Not because you may be alone, but because you are here with you and that’s what matters.

Romancing the woman you’ve become isn’t a luxury –it’s a birthright. One that whispers, day by day, “Welcome home.”

5 Loving Ways to Romance the Woman You’ve Become

Create a Place Within Yourself That Is Safe, Sacred, and Entirely Yours

A sanctuary where your inner critic is gently quieted, and your inner wise woman leads. Close your eyes, place your hands over your heart, breathe and remember who you truly are.

Romance Yourself with Uplifting Words

Repeat these beautiful mantras daily. Speak kindly and with compassion.

“Life supports me in delightful and surprising ways.”

“Life loves me – life is happening for me.’

“I am worthy, I am good enough exactly as I am.”

End of the Day Review

For those who love to write, here is a lovely journal prompt: “What did I do today that was supportive of my values, kind and courageous to me.” Also, “What small joys made me feel alive and in alignment with who I am?”

Practice Happiness

Practice happiness by thinking of things that make you really happy for 17 seconds. Rant about them, feel them, get excited about them, love them. Repeat daily.

Be Inspired

Come and join me on my Instagram page and be inspired to age fabulously, healthily and joyfully. It would be a pleasure to have your company.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What are the ways in which you are romancing the woman you’ve become? Do you have any rituals, habits or mantras that always make you feel loved, safe and supported?