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Confidence Has No Age Limit

By Susan Cox June 01, 2023 Mindset

“Am I too old to wear this?”

A question I get frequently from women.

My response: “Why do you ask?”

We have been told by the media, and others who are WAY younger, that we are supposed to wear certain things and not wear others.

Let me tell you, they aren’t in any position to tell us what to wear.

When we are unsure of something, it usually means that we have had an experience where we let somebody else (or something) get in our head and make us believe otherwise. Many women I talk to have accepted this mindset.

As a result, those women feel invisible. And this makes me so sad because it just isn’t true. EVER!

Numbers Mean Nothing!

I have realized that when it comes to our confidence, it comes down to numbers, really. Numbers are the culprit, since they are misleading, and we have used them forever to judge ourselves. They play tricks on us and diminish our self-confidence.

And when I work with my clients, numbers fly out the window, FAST!

What do I mean?

When we work on identifying someone’s body shape and body type, we don’t use measuring tape of any type – I promise!

Instead, we work on unraveling limiting beliefs that started generations ago. But I am here to tell you what I tell my clients:

“You are beautiful. You are relevant. You are needed!”

And we can’t change our age, so that number needs to be celebrated. Remember, every day is a gift, and we get to pick the wrapping paper and the bow!

The next number we use to judge ourselves is size. The average size for a woman is _________. Someone else who knows nothing about us, giving us an arbitrary number that defines us and if we aren’t that number, makes us feel bad or less than! Again, assigning judgment when it hasn’t been asked for, and more importantly, is not true.

I, for one, am not sitting down for the time I have left to roam this earth. I have worked hard to get to where I am, I am proud of who I am and want each of you to feel the same. Midlife and beyond is an accomplishment.

Unleash the Power of Confidence

Confidence can be a powerful word – especially to women.

When you don’t have it, it can wreak havoc with:

  • your self-worth
  • your perspective, and
  • your experiences.

Stripping down all these untruths and letting in what you believe (truly from your core) can be life-changing for you. It certainly has been for me and the women I work with.

As I’ve written before in my articles, age is an image, and we get to decide which image we portray every single day!

Style isn’t about the clothes; it’s about how you feel. You wear your clothes; they do not wear you. And, that, my lovelies, is the opposite of what we’ve been told to do. They tell us to “buy this; wear it this way; this is the IT color; you must follow this trend.”

That’s why fashion is fleeting, and style is forever. You know the phrase “a slave to fashion”? It’s one of the reasons I had so many pieces in my closet that I never wore.

Your Uniqueness Matters

When I work with my clients, we spend a lot of time on what they love, why they gravitate to specific colors, textures (and we don’t limit it to clothes) and experiences. Essentially, self-expression. No matter how old we are, we deserve to express our personal style through pieces and accessories that reflect our uniqueness. Please read this sentence again.

How long has it been since you really looked at your individuality from a place of positivity?

I encourage you to go through your closet and really look at your clothes. Do they represent your individuality, your personality? These two questions will determine whether you need to repurpose your clothes and create more real estate for the pieces that indeed do portray who you are. Isn’t that exciting!

Finally, Breaking Through Stereotypes

Stop listening to those who tell you what you should or shouldn’t wear. Refer to your uniqueness to clear your path on what makes you feel good. Embrace your experiences and celebrate what lights you up. It’s so fun to see women shed limiting beliefs that they’ve been holding on to for decades, really listen and hear what THEY love, and then we weave this into their wardrobe.

You see, lovelies, happiness and self-expression have no age. And once we realize this, magic happens. We allow ourselves permission to be who we’ve always wanted to be, and don’t allow any of the inner critics to sabotage or sway our belief.

Confidence is strong when you let her in, lovelies. Isn’t it time? She’s been waiting to cross the threshold for a long time. Oblige her, love her, and see what happens.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you been told by someone that you should or shouldn’t wear a particular color, cut, style or something else? How do you respond to such limitations? Have you tried shedding your limiting beliefs about style and individuality? Do you like your “after” version?

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Back in the day, my mothers generation thought once you reached 40 or so, long hair was not age appropriate. I am 67 and wear body hugging blue jeans, wear my hair long and very little makeup. Things have changed, for the better, in the last couple of decades. There are things I do find inappropriate for older women (I.e, thong bikinis, mini skirts, etc.) but, that’s just my personal preference. Women should wear what makes them feel good and confident. If you’re unsure, ask your bff what they think. Don’t ask your kids because they can’t be objective about their mom. We need to stop worrying about what other people think about us. Enjoy and live YOUR life.


Here in Switzerland there are private bathing gardens which are ladies only. Ladies of all ages are able to sunbathe topless without fear of being overlooked and many older ladies do. It’s also not unusual to see people swimming naked in rivers like the Rhein. They have a very different view of bodies – I’m bigger than I should be, but nobody looks me up and down. I only wish I could say the same when I go on visits back to Britain.


Recently I had decided to go natural with my hair. I was so indifferent about it. I hated it but tried to hold on. I ran into a former hair stylist and he asked me, “Do you feel confident?” That one word made a difference. When I went back to him we decided to try something new. I was thrilled with the new cut and color. I may try again in the future but for now I am not ready.

Julie E Ellis

I read this article with tears streaming down my face. “You are beautiful. You are relevant. You are needed.” I love this and will carry this quote with me from this day forward! Thank you!


Yes I have been told I’m too old to wear something. It was hurtful cause I believe it

Cynthia Lewis

Welllll. I AM sorry your feelings were hurt. Don’t know what you were wearing. I do think that people my age, 70, do look silly wearing certain kinds of teenage jewelry, jeans with lots of rips & holes, and skirts way above the knee.( and this is from a former hippie of late 1970s.) I do think I dress in cute & sometimes quirky styles, but that’s ME.


Wonderful article! Thank you for this perspective! It’s inspiring and rewarding to age gracefully! That’s my goal! 😀

Catherine Vance

What I have always remembered is, “ignore the negative, accentuate the positive.”
I still have full hair and great legs, and a meno-pot in the middle. So, for me, it’s wearing
shoulder-length full hair and curtain bangs, and to-the-knee dresses and heels. Do you have glorious blue eyes? Mascara the heck out of them! What do you love about your body, face and hair? Focus on the positive.

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The Author

Meet Susan Cox, Confidence Creator and Founder of Fiercely50ish where she helps Midlife women get visible with their style and shows them just how magnetic they are and let their confidence shine through by what they wear today and forever. Want to be comfy and stylish? Checkout her Athleisure Capsule.

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