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Confidence Has No Age Limit

By Susan Cox June 01, 2023 Mindset

“Am I too old to wear this?”

A question I get frequently from women.

My response: “Why do you ask?”

We have been told by the media, and others who are WAY younger, that we are supposed to wear certain things and not wear others.

Let me tell you, they aren’t in any position to tell us what to wear.

When we are unsure of something, it usually means that we have had an experience where we let somebody else (or something) get in our head and make us believe otherwise. Many women I talk to have accepted this mindset.

As a result, those women feel invisible. And this makes me so sad because it just isn’t true. EVER!

Numbers Mean Nothing!

I have realized that when it comes to our confidence, it comes down to numbers, really. Numbers are the culprit, since they are misleading, and we have used them forever to judge ourselves. They play tricks on us and diminish our self-confidence.

And when I work with my clients, numbers fly out the window, FAST!

What do I mean?

When we work on identifying someone’s body shape and body type, we don’t use measuring tape of any type – I promise!

Instead, we work on unraveling limiting beliefs that started generations ago. But I am here to tell you what I tell my clients:

“You are beautiful. You are relevant. You are needed!”

And we can’t change our age, so that number needs to be celebrated. Remember, every day is a gift, and we get to pick the wrapping paper and the bow!

The next number we use to judge ourselves is size. The average size for a woman is _________. Someone else who knows nothing about us, giving us an arbitrary number that defines us and if we aren’t that number, makes us feel bad or less than! Again, assigning judgment when it hasn’t been asked for, and more importantly, is not true.

I, for one, am not sitting down for the time I have left to roam this earth. I have worked hard to get to where I am, I am proud of who I am and want each of you to feel the same. Midlife and beyond is an accomplishment.

Unleash the Power of Confidence

Confidence can be a powerful word – especially to women.

When you don’t have it, it can wreak havoc with:

  • your self-worth
  • your perspective, and
  • your experiences.

Stripping down all these untruths and letting in what you believe (truly from your core) can be life-changing for you. It certainly has been for me and the women I work with.

As I’ve written before in my articles, age is an image, and we get to decide which image we portray every single day!

Style isn’t about the clothes; it’s about how you feel. You wear your clothes; they do not wear you. And, that, my lovelies, is the opposite of what we’ve been told to do. They tell us to “buy this; wear it this way; this is the IT color; you must follow this trend.”

That’s why fashion is fleeting, and style is forever. You know the phrase “a slave to fashion”? It’s one of the reasons I had so many pieces in my closet that I never wore.

Your Uniqueness Matters

When I work with my clients, we spend a lot of time on what they love, why they gravitate to specific colors, textures (and we don’t limit it to clothes) and experiences. Essentially, self-expression. No matter how old we are, we deserve to express our personal style through pieces and accessories that reflect our uniqueness. Please read this sentence again.

How long has it been since you really looked at your individuality from a place of positivity?

I encourage you to go through your closet and really look at your clothes. Do they represent your individuality, your personality? These two questions will determine whether you need to repurpose your clothes and create more real estate for the pieces that indeed do portray who you are. Isn’t that exciting!

Finally, Breaking Through Stereotypes

Stop listening to those who tell you what you should or shouldn’t wear. Refer to your uniqueness to clear your path on what makes you feel good. Embrace your experiences and celebrate what lights you up. It’s so fun to see women shed limiting beliefs that they’ve been holding on to for decades, really listen and hear what THEY love, and then we weave this into their wardrobe.

You see, lovelies, happiness and self-expression have no age. And once we realize this, magic happens. We allow ourselves permission to be who we’ve always wanted to be, and don’t allow any of the inner critics to sabotage or sway our belief.

Confidence is strong when you let her in, lovelies. Isn’t it time? She’s been waiting to cross the threshold for a long time. Oblige her, love her, and see what happens.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Have you been told by someone that you should or shouldn’t wear a particular color, cut, style or something else? How do you respond to such limitations? Have you tried shedding your limiting beliefs about style and individuality? Do you like your “after” version?

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People don’t realise how a negative comment when you’re young can impact your self-image for the rest of your life. When I was 20 a rather good looking male colleague who was dating a friend of mine said to me ‘You have a lovely face, if only you would go on a diet’. I was embarrassed and crushed and that one comment affected me for the rest of my life. I thought I was never attractive and good enough. It is only now after being widowed for two years that I have found the self confidence to carry on, because I had to. My husband loved me and always complimented me, but I lived in his shadow for most of our 40 years together. Now after counselling I am coming out of my own shadow and I dress completely differently, I’ve had a radical haircut and am more self confident than ever. I love bright colours and accessorise, but I do it for myself not to try and impress others. It’s been a long road, but I’m getting there.


I am 70 yrs old. I have been a carer for my beloved husband for the past 22yrs old. During which time we have been cash poor. No money for hairstylist or shopping. My mother aged 96yrs who is wheelchair bound remains elegant no matter what she wears. The colour and fit of her clothes make a style statement. I have allowed my long hair to become its natural grey. All my clothes are bought over time in Charity shops. I have built up a core of navy blue, black, olive green, wine-burgundy, red and cream. Which means I can continually create new outfits. When I started my style journey I sought out brands that fitted and suited my middle-age shape. And today…they are brands that I have stuck with because the size always fits well and is made well. The fabric does not lose shape. I love elegant stripes and polka dots for tops. Two year ago I purchased ($3) a buttercup yellow shirt because I loved the style and colour. To my surprise it works with 95% of my wardrobe and highlights many tones of grey in my hair. It may have taken me a long time but now I am happy with my qaulity and stylish wardrobe.


Oh, I LOVE THIS!!! I can’t stand those articles telling us what clothes to wear, what hairstyles to wear, what microscopic jewelry and boring shoes to wear. These were written by smug 20-year-olds. Or men. Thank you so much for this article. ❤️🤸🥳


When I see big jewellery it screams at me to wear it :))


My mind is not confident. I still make simple mistakes at work and that is job is to find them. It’s disappointing. Work is one of the few areas in my life I have ever felt valued. How do I manage that? Thanks.


Great article. If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s the thought that once you get to around 55 and beyond then you should just wear beige and retire to the background. Only this week I have been sorting through my summer clothing and am looking forward to wearing many favourite and colourful items. I also like statement pieces of jewellery as well!

Some things I don’t want to wear, for instance short skirts and leggings – I wasn’t confident enough to wear them when I had a great figure in the 80s and 90s and now in my 60s I’m 3 dress sizes larger and about an inch and a half shorter. However, there are plenty of other great styles on the market in this day and age that will make you feel confident whatever your shape. My favourite in summer are wide leg pants with a nice kaftan or kurta style top and perhaps some ethnic jewellery.

Don’t be shy about experimenting with clothes ladies, life is way too short!

The Author

Meet Susan Cox, Confidence Creator and Founder of Fiercely50ish where she helps Midlife women get visible with their style and shows them just how magnetic they are and let their confidence shine through by what they wear today and forever. Want to be comfy and stylish? Checkout her Athleisure Capsule.

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