Want a Happy Marriage After 60? Take These 5 Fast Actions Today!
Your marriage relationship is one of the most important treasures you will ever have in life. Every single day, you make choices about what will occur in your relationship. Some of those choices are small and inconsequential while others turn out to be extremely important.
Regardless, it is a good idea to check in with yourself regularly. Are you frequently making the right choices in your relationship? If you don’t think so, consider rethinking your actions.
Listen
Do you pay attention when your husband is talking to you, or do you prefer to blow them off and pretend to be listening when you really aren’t?
It’s easy to take your special person for granted, but put yourself in their shoes. Would you want them to treat you the same way? Choose to listen to your partner. You might be surprised at some of the things they say when you are really listening carefully.
When you are paying close attention, you will have some questions of your own. Moreover, you will be giving each other a great gift when you use your words to say something like: “I’d like to hear more about that,” or, “Please help me understand. I’m not quite sure I get it.”
When you take those extra minutes, you are demonstrating that what your mate says matters to you. Listening is a gift for both of you. It has the potential to further enhance closeness and connection and feelings of well-being for you both.
Say Thank You
Do you say “thank you” when your husband does something nice for you? Do you say it when they take out the trash or load the dishwasher? If you don’t, why not start today?
Let your partner know that the little things they do matter, too. Make the choice to say “thank you” more often, and chances are, your partner will begin to do more and more of those little things.
Do you have the bad habit of trying to have the last word in an argument? Or do you, sometimes, pleasantly agree to disagree with your husband?
Being the one to walk away from an argument or disagreement will sometimes make you the bigger person. When you agree to disagree with your partner, it reduces the stress level and you can move on to something else.
Walk Away
Choose to be the one who walks away, and both of you will be happier for it. It’s ok if you don’t always agree because you are two different people, each with your own history, upbringing and life experiences.
It can be helpful, though only if you want to, to offer: “Some time it would be interesting if we could share with each other how we each came to different conclusions on this subject. I’m sure it would make a lot of sense to us both.”
Surprise Each Other
Do you and your partner still do things out of the blue? Do you just get up in the morning and decide to take a day trip to spend some time together? If not, you give it a try.
When you choose to do things spur-of-the-moment it can keep you both on your toes and will keep your relationship fresh. Choose to do something out of the ordinary once a week, and your relationship will continue to grow. This will keep you from falling into ruts or bad habits.
Drop the Guilt
Do you do things to take care of yourself and then feel guilty about it? Do you feel like you are taking time away from your partner when you do something on your own? If this is happening to you, you really need to make the choice to care for yourself – without the guilt.
I’ll bet your partner doesn’t feel guilty when they decided to do something on their own. We all need to take care of ourselves so that we can be a better partner and a better person.
Why not start today by choosing to do a few of these things? You will begin to see changes, big and small, in your relationship.
When you make a few small changes in yourself and the way you think about your relationship, you are making the choice to be a great partner. I would be extremely surprised if you don’t experience some big payoffs. These payoffs from your new, relatively-small efforts will very likely surprise you!
Let’s Have a Conversation:
What things do you do with your husband to keep your relationship happy and positive? Do you ever do things on the spur of the moment or have you ever taken a surprise trip or excursion together? What do you think is the secret to longevity and happiness in a marriage? Please join the conversation below!
Tags Marriage After 60
The advice in this part of the article is out of the 1950’s- all about what the woman can do! Old advice putting responsibility only on the wife.
Thank you for the article. I left my job that was very stressful and not well compensated almost 9 years ago. My husband nearing 73 years and still working full time. He works because he loves what he does and not for financial reasons. I am the social type and he is happy being at home. I make plans for us like, lunch after a short errand run, few small cocktail parties. etc. I do want him to cut down to very part time work so we can travel more. We both love traveling near and far. It is the little things we do together and talk that is what we love.
The secret to our 45 years of happy ever after was deciding to be an aunt and uncle rather than a mom and dad. Some people should be parents and some should be aunts and uncles. We can give our siblings a break and have meaningful and fun times with their children. Then we go back to our comfort zone. It used to be you had to have kids or else. But now we have freedom to do what’s right for us. We are extraordinarily close so childfree is the way to go for us.
Here! Here! my husband and I are also married over 40 years and are happily childfree. There aren’t many of us out here and although we can still be a bit stereotyped by those who can’t understand our choices, it has and continues to be the perfect fit for us. We are also aunt and uncle and great aunt and uncle to several nieces and nephews. We both volunteer for different organizations, which provides us with just the right amount of “separate” time to indulge our different interests and maintain some independence.
Great article. Since retiring recently from a very physically and emotionally stressful job, I have realized how much I had taken my husband for granted. He stood by me offering tremendous support during the last awful year before I retired, but I was almost too mired in stress to fully notice.
Now, I am spending all my time supporting and acknowledging him. He retires next year,then we can fully engage each other whenever we want. I say thank you and our conversations are focused and meaningful.
Glad to hear my efforts are moving in the right direction.
Great article. It reflects a couple who are emotionally intelligent, compassionate and kind, generally reciprocated in effort on both sides. Still, 60% of marriages do fail, even after one partner tried their darnest as suggested. I suspect that number will increase exponentially with the newest generations who prefer their phones to interacting with others. Many retired couples end up splitting for good as they were too busy over parenting, working, socializing separately during their marriage, for various misgotten reasons, instead of presenting a united front, full of respect and genuine appreciation for one another, zero taking each other for granted. Then there are those who are too old to get out of the marriage, or I’ll, or plain unable to afford to split due to.economic changes. Very sad. I applaud those who are true blue to each other and supportive. I send a hug to those who aren’t/were not as fortunate.