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The Three Pillars to Level up Your Purpose: The Wise Woman Creates with Life

By Ardith Bowman May 26, 2021 Mindset

If you are going to create a life with the personal purpose that inspires you and brings you meaning, you first need to believe it is possible.

In my previous article, I shared that one of the key learnings you need to embrace is that you are enough at this moment. Now, it is time to realize that there is enough. There is enough time, money, love, opportunity for everyone.

We have been trained to believe that there is lack. As a result, we must compete for jobs and money, tightly prioritize our time, and often believe there are limited opportunities for love.

  • How does this belief in limitation impact what you believe is possible for you?
  • What would you do if you knew that life is poised to support you with what you need to create what you want?

Take some time – all the time you need – to consider those questions. It certainly is time to break away from these limits that are not true and live with a mindset of possibility instead.

Ask Questions Like a Woman

Much of our limited thinking comes from the more masculine culture in which we live. We tend to compete rather than create. We tend to control, rather than trust. Creating, trust, receptivity and curiosity are feminine energies.

This is where your inner wisdom comes into play. Be curious enough to ask questions, then be receptive enough to hear your wisdom.

Think about one thing you want to change or create in your life.

What is your self-talk? Do you have thoughts such as:

  • How am I going to ever lose weight?
  • Am I ever going to find love?
  • How can this ever work?
  • How am I going to do this at my age?

Clearly, these are not the empowering questions you need. See how it feels to ask:

  • I wonder how I might transform my weight?
  • I wonder how I can begin to create love in my life?
  • I wonder how I might create this project in a way that is easy?

Can you see how these questions are based on the belief that life will provide what you need? It will. When you ask the empowering question, listen to your wisdom, as we learned to do in the last article about your wise woman.

There are two more key elements for this second pillar to creating your purpose.

Know That You Deserve What You Desire

Actually, a sense of deserving fulfillment can be a challenge for women. Why do each of us deserve what we desire? Are we worthy of what we want to accomplish?

We need to embrace a different kind of mindset, based on these:

#1: We are not our past or what we have done or do. We are a part of something bigger; we have the capacity to live the life we are meant to.

#2: We base our sense of deserving on our self-image. That self-image is entirely of our making, so acknowledge your power and competence and value.

Are you stuck in an old story of who you are? Your words are clues to your real sense of deserving. Do you tend to say/think:

  • This always (happens)…
  • I’m trying…
  • I never…
  • I should have…
  • I’ve never been good at….

Change that vibe! Change it as soon as you notice the constricted feeling from this kind of disempowered thinking.

  • Do something that expands your energy (exercise, dance, cook, artwork, music).
  • Be grateful.
  • Return to the emotional connection with what you desire.

Act with Confidence

Allow Life to join forces with you. The root of the word confidence relates to trust. But what are you trusting when you have confidence?

This is not a passive trust – waiting for the white knight or good fairies to bring what you want. You are a creative force, shaping the resources of life to create your purpose.

There is something women tend to do that is important to be aware of when taking action. Do you recognize this cycle: “I got this!” – “I made a mistake, I failed.” – “I’m incompetent.”

Claire Zammit of Feminine Power has found that women often block their own advancement because of this cycle.

We both over and underestimate ourselves because:

  • We think we know what we need to know, so we take action in isolation. (Actually, this is a way of avoiding receiving support. More on that in the next article.)
  • Then, if we make an error, we personalize it. (Men don’t.) Our thoughts are about being incompetent rather than about learning.

When we stay in a powerful place of curiosity, learning, and trust, we keep moving ahead not allowing temporary setbacks stop us. That is part of the trust that defines confident action. This is part of trusting life to continue to support you.

Tuning in to this power, this way of being, is a deep and ongoing process.

I offer you a short mediation to take you into this creative, feminine, resourceful space that underpins true confidence. Then take action.

I would love to hear about your experience with these issues. What powerful questions can you ask yourself to move toward having and living the life you want? Why do you deserve it? What are you going to do to start creating in a powerful, feminine way? Write down your answers and remind yourself every day!

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The Author

Dr. Ardith Bowman is a woman-centered coach, advancing the positive aging movement. Her mission is to empower women aged 60 and beyond to live with fulfillment throughout life. She will walk beside you, providing unwavering support and guidance as you navigate your path into more fulfillment and vitality. Find her at Becoming You After 60.

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