Have you ever noticed that everyone seems to have marriage advice for newlyweds, even if they haven’t had a successful marriage themselves?
In fact, it occurs to me that the couples who have been married for 30 years or more tend to be fairly modest about their relationship accomplishments. Come to think of it, maybe their humility is one of the reasons that they have managed to stay happily married for so long!
The good news is that these amazing couples have plenty of advice to give. We just need to ask!
Along these lines, I thought that it would be fun to ask the women in our community who have been married for 30+ years to give some marriage advice for newlyweds. Within a few minutes of me asking the question, more than 50 women responded, offering some amazing ideas. Some of my favorites are below.
If someone in your family is getting married for the first time, I highly encourage you to share this list with them. Personally, I wish some had shared this advice with me when I go married. It would have saved me a lot of heartache!
Diane advised newlyweds to, “Keep your sense of humor and remember that no-one is perfect. Talk to your spouse and show them that you love them every day. Life will throw you curveballs. Just remember that paying attention to your relationship always pays off. We’ve been married for 40 years and we still love each other dearly.”
Susan added, “Remember that your marriage is a commitment that you need to work on every day. Say something nice before you leave the house each day. You never know when your partner will be gone.”
Barbara said, “It’s like the song we sing together at church. None of Self and All of Thee. If both spouses practice this, everything will work out well!”
Carol, who has been married for 42 years, said, “Keep God in your marriage. Don’t try to change your spouse – just offer them plenty of praise and encouragement. Have your own interests. Don’t forget to have at least one date night per week – even if it’s just a cup of coffee with the cell phones switched off.”
Yvonne commented, “Communication and trust are just as important as commitment. Work every day to build all of these. We’ve been happily married for 39 years… and counting!”
Barb gave the following marriage advice for newlyweds, “Don’t let relatives ruin your marriage.”
Tessie added, “We’ve been married for 46 years. During this time, we’ve learned to have a sense of humor and laugh. Have a date night every week and dance together in the kitchen.”
Another Barb in the community said, “Be kind to each other. Never walk out angry – you don’t want this to be the last thing you remember about the person you love if something unexpected happens. Work hard and keep laughing.”
Amy gave the following marriage advice for newlyweds, “Laugh together every day. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Maintain your own individuality and personal space.”
Cherie gave some practical advice. She said, “Start saving for retirement as soon as you get back from your honeymoon.”
Kathleen said, “We’ve been married for 42 years… trust is a must, as well as, respect. Recognize that your partner has his or her pals and encourage them to spend time together. No couple is perfect. No person is perfect. Remember that communication is essential. We’re not mind readers! Never assume anything and don’t run away when the times are rough. Finally, always look for the good in your spouse.”
Janice, who has been married for 40 years, said, “Find things that you have in common and find time to do these things together. Your spouse should be your best friend. Most importantly, laugh, laugh and laugh some more. It’s good for your marriage and it keeps you young!
Finally, Donna offers, simply, “Pick your battles.”
I couldn’t agree more! Actually, this last piece of advice is good for everyone, married or not!
If you are just getting married, I wish you all the happiness in the world! I hope that you have found this advice useful! If you have been married for several decades, please continue to add your advice in the comments section below.
How long have you been married? What marriage advice would you give to newlyweds? What advice do you wish someone had given you when you got married? Please join the conversation.