You Deserve a Happy Birthday
How do you celebrate your birthday? How you approach it can say a lot about how you view getting older, and even how you celebrate your own life! Now is a good time to take a moment to consider how you might make your birthday a joyous time to look forward to.
I was asked to review a new book titled How to Have a Happy Birthday by Tamar Hurwitz-Fleming. I pondered how this topic could become a book at all. I am someone who celebrates my birthday for the entire month with strawberry shortcake every day, sharing it with friends, and generally enjoying several rituals because celebrations are a reason to have fun. Doesn’t everyone have a happy birthday (or month)? It seems perhaps not.
Why It’s Important to Enjoy Your Birthday
The first question is why enjoying your birthday is even important. According to the author, it is “Because your life matters. Because you matter.” I couldn’t agree more!
Birthdays for Children
As children, most of us had parties organized by others. In most locations there are businesses focused on providing party fun, be it games, food, or some other activity. In the United States, think about the ubiquitous Chuck E Cheese or Incredible John’s locations. What is offered where you live?
Teens Celebrate Differently
As teens, we often enjoyed a mix of activities with family and friends for our birthdays. Each family has its own traditions. Then, my family did not support birthday celebrations after primary school. Perhaps that is why I created such a deliberate approach to enjoying every inch of my birthday month.
Party Time
As a young adult, birthdays can be an excuse for partying with friends. Or, perhaps your birthdays felt lonely because of living away from family. Perhaps the focus turned to doing something to include your own children to celebrate. Along the way, we are faced with our decision to highlight the day or let it slip by.
What happened as you moved into adulthood?
Our Birthday – Our Responsibility
Here is the bottom line: Each of us is responsible for creating a birthday that honors us coming into the world, our journey, and who we have become. Sometimes a loved one or friends may step in, yet, in the end, the celebration is up to us.
We can be experts at finding reasons to not celebrate, rather than make the most of it. Read on to see if any of these describe you or someone you love.
But I’m Getting Old
Have you ever had someone deliberately underestimate your age to be “kind?” Or perhaps they delicately asked if it is okay to ask how old you are. For Pete’s Sake, tell it like it is! We have lived a rich life, full of the twists and turns that helped to shape who we are. Those of us in the positive aging community like to say, “Aging is Living.”
Birthdays are a time to realize that we are mortal and that our days are precious. Life is to be enjoyed in this moment. Avoiding coming face to face with the fact of aging is just a way to avoid deciding to make the most of the days we have and, if you have a dream, to begin your journey into creating it. If you look at your age as a milepost along your life journey, what is it you want for yourself in the remainder of your life? What dreams are calling to you?
What would it be like for you to feel grateful for your age? Do you? Feeling gratitude is a much different mindset than the “I’m old” interpretation of age. Gratitude is one of the qualities that leads to happier and healthier aging too!
Also read, Being “Old” Is When You Think You Are.
But I’m Alone
Many of us over 60 are single through divorce, death of our partner, or perhaps having lived without a partner. Feeling lonely can lead to feeling down. When it comes to celebrating, loneliness certainly can put a damper on the desire to do so. If there ever was a time to gift yourself an experience that brings you joy, it is when you are wondering “Why bother; no one cares.”
This is where ideas in the book are helpful. Use your birthday to experience what brings you joy, meaning, and a sense of fulfillment. The book includes a companion workbook to help you prepare to celebrate. No one can know what will feel like a true celebration better than each of us for ourselves.
One of my rituals is to serve strawberry shortcake to my paddling team after practice. It has become an annual event they look forward to. I do too. I am guaranteed to be regaled with the out-of-tune happy birthday song! Before I got married a couple of years ago, I would take two cupcakes and candles up to the top of my favorite hike. I would light the candles and eat them both! Now that I am married, I only get to eat one, and that is exactly what I dreamed of.
Feel the Love
If you are like me, it can feel a little uncomfortable to be celebrated by others. Here is my secret, I actually love it inside. You might begin by taking yourself out to lunch and telling the server you are celebrating your birthday. It is almost certain that they will smile and find a way to add to your celebration. People love birthdays!
The first step is to love yourself, who you are, and to know you deserve acknowledgement, gifts, and hugs. Just start there.
Then allow others to celebrate with you. Help them know how to do that. Create your own event, like my shortcake party.
What ideas do you have to celebrate your birthday in a way that brings joy into your life? There are no rules! If you want to explore ideas, the How to Have a Happy Birthday book is a complete guide to help you celebrate your next birthday to its fullest.
I’d love to hear your ideas about how you celebrate and how you can make your next birthday a truly happy one. As always, if you want to talk it through, I am here to help at connect@ardithbowman.com.
Let’s Have a Conversation:
How do you celebrate your birthdays? Do you have a ritual that you follow? Do you celebrate differently on anniversary years?
I agree–celebrate, celebrate, celebrate. You only get one time around on earth. When I turned 70 three years ago, I also decided to make the time around my birthday my reflection time. This year, my thoughts led me to gratitude, and the realization that it is me who should give gifts to those who have meant a lot to me. So now my tradition is to send my dearest ones a little remembrance on MY birthday. Love the New Year card idea, too!
We are so in sync! A couple of months ago I wrote an article about ‘no one gets a second time around.’ Indeed, that is true. I adore the idea of little gifts to those I love. THAT should sufficiently confuse my grandsons ;-) We are off to transform the birthday celebration…
For my 70th year, I celebrated by giving myself a gift every month, some included private art lessons, special facial, weekly body massage, all pampering me or improving my skills or knowledge. My beautiful daughter gave me a splash of a great party on the date, and served mini fruit pies as I prefer pie to cake. It was an amazing year. This year is my diamond birthday, age 75. I requested a smaller and quieter family dinner, maybe at the table with the fire pit in the center of the big table, I think it seats about a dozen. I also plan to sign up for multiple OLIE classes through Casper College, including some dinner theater movies.
Another pie woman! I even had a wedding pie, rather than cake;-) I’m going to adopt your gift a month club approach. That way, I won’t feel so sad when the celebration month is over. Thanks for sharing that.
My mother passed away when she was52 yrs old.She never had the opportunity to actually grow old. I consider myself blessed, as I will turn 75 in a couple of weeks. Just being here at this age is celebration enough for me, although, I’d never turn down my daughter’s Tiramisu.
I hear you! I see you putting a candle in the Tiramisu and enjoying the moment with others.
My dear father passed away at 50. I’ve been determined to live a long, healthy life in his honor. He didn’t get his golden years. I will get mine for him. I’m 69, healthy and strong. I eat chocolate cake for birthday breakfast each year. I plan a fun trip or activity around that time. I also treat friends to something special because I love having them in my life and I’m truly grateful for them.
I love this, Margo! I will eat pie for breakfast;-) Do you know that in some countries, pie is considered a normal breakfast food? I’ll bet we can find a country where chocolate cake is too! I too am grateful for my friends; we are aligned that celebrating them is part of our party.
My birthday is coming up quick, your Birthday article hit home! I never celebrate mine like I should, but I do make a big deal for others. Next week will be different now, thank you!! ❤️
Awesome! I’d love to hear what you end up doing to celebrate. Why or why do we think that celebrating ourselves is not just as important as celebrating others? I think we women are nudged that way through the roles we play in life. Whatever you do, have fun and share your spirit!
On my decade birthdays, I do something special to mark it. Jump out of an airplane, dive with sharks, etc. But two things. I always make it special because I’m getting older anyway. And any day that I do something for my day is a birthday, so getting together with a friend, a vacation that didn’t make sense for my August birthday, etc. Celebrate, celebrate, celebrate. Doing it even though I lost my beloved husband 1 year 9 months ago.
Hooray! You are a great example of loving yourself, even after losing your husband. I hope you inspire others to follow suit. I’m with you. the older we get, the more there is to celebrate!