Be Here While You Are Here: Don’t Miss the Life You’re Living

What is this journey through life if it is not to grow into the fullest of expression of all that we can be? To feel the passage of time as the summer breezes kiss our windswept hair and tangle their dreams deep within every breath we take. Life takes us by the hand and leads us into the landscapes that will nurture us, shock us, befriend us, call us, move us and ultimately invite us to step more and more into our own gentle arms of belonging whilst feeling held by every atom in the Universe.

Each moment has a life and a story all of its own. Every pain, laugh, tear, excitement, joy, loss, fear and sadness writes its own inimitable tale on our hearts until one day we find ourselves meeting who we are in the mirror of life and we look with wonder at where all those passing years went and what they meant for us. And if we are lucky, we will find some kindness and compassion gazing back at us into our own eyes. We may remember moments that became our greatest teachers and treasure them like old friends. However, we can only truly remember those moments if we were actually there for them as they unfolded.

Sometimes we may forget that life isn’t something we are preparing to live one day. It is happening right now.

There is something incredibly beautiful about learning to love our lives while we are still living them, to recognise the significance of the seemingly insignificant, and to understand that every moment is an opportunity to participate more fully in our own becoming. For me, this is the romance of life and the key lies in not being so busy getting through our days that we forget to actually be here for them. 

While We Still Have the Moment

I remember all of those moments that at one time I may have taken for granted. The sound of my mother pottering in the kitchen singing softly to herself. The muted sounds of the TV on a Sunday afternoon as my grandfather fell asleep whilst watching his favourite game of football. An ordinary Sunday and yet those moments and memories came and went year after year, changing as life changed.

And one year, there were no sounds of my mother pottering in the kitchen or my grandfather falling asleep in front of the television. It is the small things that we hunger for when they are gone. The sweet, small precious things that once shaped our days and allowed us to feel safe and anchored in our life.

We are taught many things in our lives. We are instructed how to read, write, follow rules, learn the names of dates in history, add up numbers and so much more. But now as I find myself reflecting on my life and what it means to grow older, I am wondering where all the lessons on being wholeheartedly immersed in the moments went. Oh, what a joy to be taught to feel the moment as it unfolds rather than rushing through it to get to another place, we deem more interesting or better in some way.

Learning to Linger in Our Lives

I wonder what would have happened if I had been told to stay a little longer and breathe in the mystery of the moment. To linger softly in a sun-kissed morning drinking in the light and allowing my body to blossom rather than being told to hurry up as I was going to be late for some event.

We are not taught to truly notice the moments as they unfold. Most of us rush by in some pursuit of another destination which we also don’t know how to be there for. And so, we miss the moments that are quietly (and not so quietly) shaping our lives. Emotions often go unnoticed or unfelt. Dreams that want to stay and play awhile get confined to the “someday” box. Ideas that could have leapt forward and galvanised some new project or personal joy, teeter on the brink of becoming and eventually subside into a vague recollection of “What if’s.” And “If only’s.”

And as the moments pass by often unheeded, we may find ourselves feeling as if we never had them. We don’t need to stay for long in those moments but to simply be there for them with all of who we are. To feel the autumn wind as it changes direction and blows colder with the approach of winter. To notice the way someone smiles at us and their eyes search for connection. To truly taste the food as we allow it to become part of our cells and nurture our being. To be kind to our own moments of pain, loss, discomfort and fear. To sit with our doubts and fears and to hold our own hand as we seek to navigate the next step forward.

There Is a Story in Every Moment

Every moment invites us to be there for all of our lives. Not just the pretty, acceptable, good times when life dances easily in our arms and invites us to tango awhile. But for the parts when pain seems insurmountable and just living through another moment feels impossible. These are truly the moments where we get to show up for ourselves. Where we can be there in the moment, feel it, accept it and then allow it to pass as we move into another moment and another story.

If we are never taught how to be with the unfolding moments and stories of our lives, how can we appreciate the astounding story of who we are becoming? And it is truly astounding and astonishing if we allow it to be. If we are constantly rushing from the moment we are in, we may miss the subtle narrative that is calling to us to evolve, grow and go beyond who we thought or believed ourselves to be.

The Sacredness of Now

We let so many beautiful ordinary moments pass us by believing that there will always be more. The next smile, the next kiss, the next sunrise, the next cup of tea, the next morning, the next breath. Perhaps if we realised that these moments would not happen again in exactly the same way, we would have stayed a little longer, breathed a little deeper and savoured them a little bit more.

So, stay longer in the moment. Notice as the dappled light fades on an autumn day. Look into your own eyes with love and appreciation and see all of your courage and radiance shining out. Be gentle with your body. Hold the places that feel tender and whisper words of love and reassurance to them. Show up every day, even in the smallest of ways and really notice and be with you. Take time to be here fully for whatever story is unfolding. Close your eyes, place your hand over your heart and breathe in this moment.

Make the commitment to fall in love with you a little more each day and appreciate all that your life is offering you. No matter what age you are, make a gentle promise to yourself not to let another moment go by without you in it. Then you will have been here for all that your life had to offer; the great, the not so great, the wonder, the pain, the joy and the sorrow. Then, you will have lived (in the words of the poet Mary Oliver) your one wild and precious life.

A Final Thought

Perhaps being here for all of the days of our lives doesn’t require us to make grand changes or create more meaningful experiences. Perhaps it begins with something much smaller. A willingness to pause. To notice. To linger. To allow ourselves to be touched by the moments that are already here.

It is about becoming a little more intentional with the life that is unfolding around us and within us. Recognising that every experience, every conversation, every feeling and every seemingly ordinary day is contributing to the story of who we are becoming.

We don’t have to rush towards the next chapter. We can learn to inhabit the one we are in.

And perhaps, in doing so, we discover that the life we have been searching for isn’t somewhere further down the road. It is here, quietly unfolding, asking only that we show up and be part of it.

We are not just passing through our moments. Our moments are passing through us, shaping us, teaching us and becoming part of who we are.

If you would like to walk with me in this precious journey called life, I would love your company. Follow me @romancingyourbody on Instagram as we all walk each other home.

More on this topic, The Warmth of Wisdom: 5 Joys I Discovered in My 60s.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

What are the small precious moments of your life that you love? Do you think you have missed on many moments as you’ve rushed through life? Are you more intentional these days?