As we round the corner into 2023, it’s hard to believe 2022 is nearly behind us. I think back to Jan 2022 as a dating coach and the changes I’ve seen in dating patterns in the past 10 months alone. Yes, Covid is still among us – but we have learned we can still date safely. And consider this, for every 97 single men, there are 100 single women. I’ll take those odds!
So, what do we see going into 2023?
We all know 20- and 30-somethings think nothing of online dating – it’s just part of life like TikTok and any social media. But I’ve been happily shocked to encounter no resistance from the majority of my 50-75-year-old clients either. Yay. One step for man… one giant leap for womankind!
Ever heard of the Lipstick Effect? I’ll let you go there on your own. Will Inflation and the pending Recession hurt your love life? No way, unless you are looking for excuses. I’ve been a Dating Expert for nearly 30 years, and I’ve seen big bumps in the road – Dotcom Bubble Crash in 2000/2002 was tough; 9/11 was horrific; 2008 Financial Crisis was very difficult and the 2020 Covid pandemic – confusing.
But what was the thing I heard from all my clients during those difficult periods? Love, interpersonal relationships, friends and family were the most important factors in life, and people rushed to get close to those they loved. Dating sites also surged.
I notice a big trend toward active, tactile dates. While coffee or a cocktail may be safe bets for first dates, the old “nice dinner” for the second date is out. So, what are my clients aged 50-75 doing lately? Hikes, sporting events, biking, ax throwing (no kidding!), renting e-bikes for a long outing, boating, escape rooms, arcades, dog parks, and the list goes on and on!
No more “Hi, I read in your profile XYZ and I’m into ABC and your photos are cute.” Although straightforward, this type of messaging is getting boring.
Quirky sells. Quirky gets responses. A message like, “Hey, your chocolate lab is cute. Once I took mine on a hot air balloon ride and she jumped out, but I had her leash, TG. She couldn’t bark for a while and the neighbors were happy. She is fine now. Want to grab a drink… on land this week?”
Weird, but this response got an 80% reply rate. (And, yes, this client of mine is responsible and a big dog rescuer… but the story is true.
Chemistry happens in real life – not over the phone or messaging. Of course, 2-3 messages are normal to get the conversation flowing, but then book the date for lunch or coffee. After all, it’s only an hour.
Priscilla, a lovely 66-year-old client, told me about her “dates” which usually consisted of 45- to 60-minute-long phone calls. But those aren’t dates! They are time-wasters.
If you must speak with a potential date, set a boundary such as “Would you like to chat for 5-10 minutes to see if we’d like to have a glass of wine together in real life?” He will know the exact reason for the call – and you’ll get off the phone fast and onto the date!
Well, happy dating! This is an adventure and a great opportunity to meet others not in your tight network of friends!
Have you embraced online dating or is it still new territory for you? Do you feel ready to take the plunge and date in real life? Have you spoken/chatted/messaged a potential date for hours, without ever meeting?
Tags Senior Dating Advice