Dating After 60: Real World Dating Advice for Older Women

Bette Davis once said that getting old is not for sissies. Well, many women would argue that the same comment applies to dating after 60.

Not only are there statistically fewer men, but the dynamic of human engagement, and style of personal connection, has changed dramatically since we were dating in our 20’s.

Also, a lifetime of love and loss has made many women distrustful and unwilling to get back into the dating game.

What Do Older Women Want?

As young women, we are primarily interested in finding someone who can be a good provider – oh, and good looks (genes) didn’t hurt either! Now that our kids have left the house, shouldn’t our priorities shift? Shouldn’t we be more interested in finding someone who shares our values, rather than someone with a lot of money?

Truthfully, I’m not sure. I know that, “logically,” we should look at relationships differently in our 50s and 60s, but, the truth is that many of us don’t. I still know plenty of older women who are looking for James Bond – attractive, daring and exciting. I also know many women who just want someone who makes them feel special.

Of course, there is no “right” or “wrong” answer here. When it comes to senior dating, we all want slightly different things. 

Read more: 3 Tips for Deciding if You Are Settling with the Wrong Man After 60.

Navigating Modern Dating Etiquette

From texting etiquette to the use of emojis, the modern dating world can sometimes feel like a foreign language. Understanding these changes and adapting to them can make the dating process smoother and more enjoyable.

Take the time to learn about current dating practices. There are many online resources and blogs that can help you get up to speed on the dos and don’ts of modern dating, from crafting a great online profile to understanding when and how to text after a date.

Read How to Write an Unstoppable Senior Dating Profile in 7 Easy Steps.

Embracing Confidence and Self-Worth

One of the most important aspects of dating after 60 is embracing your confidence and self-worth. At this stage in life, you have a wealth of experiences that have shaped who you are. This is the time to value yourself and recognize the unique qualities you bring to a relationship. Confidence is attractive at any age, and by embracing your self-worth, you’re more likely to attract someone who appreciates you for who you truly are.

Spend time doing things that boost your self-confidence. Whether it’s taking up a new hobby, traveling solo, or engaging in community activities, focusing on self-love will radiate through your interactions with others.

Setting Healthy Boundaries

With experience comes the wisdom to set healthy boundaries in relationships. It’s important to know what you’re comfortable with and to communicate that clearly to potential partners. This can include everything from how much time you spend together to what you’re looking for in a relationship.

Before diving into the dating pool, take some time to reflect on your boundaries. Write them down and revisit them regularly to ensure you’re staying true to yourself.

Dating After 60 Can Actually Be Fun

Dating coaches take a more positive stance on dating after 60. They explain that a change in mindset is essential for women over 60 who want to find romance. In my recent interview with dating coach, David Wygant, he suggested that men are often the ones who lack confidence and suffer from fear of rejection. He says that older women have the power to make a connection that turns into a dating opportunity.

For example, three simple ideas for creating dating opportunities include smiling genuinely, approaching men first and learning the art of flirting. His assessment requires a fundamental shift in thinking – women must not be afraid to make the first move!

So what’s a midlife woman who was raised in a world where men were “supposed” to make the first move do? Here are a few ideas to help you get the hang of dating after 60.

Practice a Virtual Flirt with Men from Your Past

Social media has opened wonderful doors of connection, so, don’t be afraid to look up a single high school friend and even consider attending your next reunion or class event. Use LinkedIn to casually say hi to interesting men you’ve met at events. You will find out soon enough if they are married or committed, so, for now, just be friendly and see what happens.

Let single girlfriends know that you are actively looking for a relationship – maybe they know someone who is perfect for you!

“Are the Chocolate Muffins Good Here”? Strike up a Conversation!

Another place to meet interesting men is the good old standby, the coffee shop. Many men come in every day to get their cup of chai or latte. Pay attention and you may just find a new friend. Start a casual conversation with the man standing in line and smile! When you sit down, don’t immediately pull out your mobile phone or book.

Look around and make eye contact. If you see someone interesting, make a move. It doesn’t matter what the “move” is. Sometimes just asking whether the chocolate muffins are any good is enough to start a great conversation. Just remember to be genuine. You’re not looking for the love of your life (although it would be nice to find him). At this point, you’re just looking to make a friendly connection.

Play with Pets and Grandkids – They are Great Smile Magnets

When you are out with a dog or young child, there is a natural and comfortable energy about you. This weekend, grab your dog and visit your local park. If you don’t have a dog, perhaps you can borrow one from a friend. If you have a grandchild, take them for a walk or buy them ice-cream at a local cafe. You will be smiling and that’s a good start!

Go Cultural – Explore Museums, Bookstores and Theaters

The most important dating guideline is to simply do things you love. If you love museums, look for special events that will draw a crowd. If you have a passion for books, go and browse the magazines and chat with the man next to you. He may say “my wife and I…” and that’s totally fine. There should be no expectations when meeting new people. If you love sports, buy a ticket to an event that you love. Who knows who will be sitting next to you?

Watch my video with David Wygant for more senior dating tips:

Attend a Meetup and Share Your Passions

Many cities have an organization called Meetups. You can join groups for everything you can possibly imagine including hiking, art, photography, travel or dining out. They also have events for men and women our age and can be a great opportunity to meet new people, whether you are looking for love or not.

Get Two Birds with One Stone – Let’s Get Physical

Many men love to work out, so, a great place to meet them is at the gym. Meeting people at the gym has a few built-in advantages.

First, any single man that you do meet at the gym is more interested than the average person in staying in shape.

Second, even if you don’t meet anyone, working out is important for every aspect of your health after 60 – mental, physical, and emotional. Getting in shape will improve your confidence and improve every aspect of dating after 60.

Read Weight Training for Seniors: The Importance of Strength Training in Your 60s.

Give Speed Dating a Try

Ever hear of speed dating? I know, it probably sounds a little scary, but it is a good way to have short conversations with many potential partners in the space of a few hours. 

Speed dating events are held all over the world and are gatherings where people sit and talk with each person in attendance for a short time, this can be anywhere from 5 minutes to 30 minutes. Each event has its own timeline, but basically they all work the same. You sit with an attendee and talk until a buzzer goes off. Either you or the other person gets up and goes to another table to talk for the same amount of time with someone else. Think musical chairs!

At the end of the evening, you decide who you would like to see again and the organizers will give you their information only if they chose you too.  

Research online for speed dating events in your area.

Dive Into the World of Online Dating

Now, I couldn’t give dating advice without adding online dating, could I? Online dating has become a tried and tested method of meeting new people. It’s now easier than ever to create a profile and browse hundreds of profiles of single men in your area.

There are lots of choices, like Match.com, where you can freely browse profiles. Other paid sites, like EHarmony.com, and Chemistry.com, ask you to take a personality test before they look for “matches” for you.

There are also faith-based sites like ChristianCafe.com and JDate.com where members can write and respond to anyone. These are good sites to find a partner with a similar faith-based lifestyle. 

Read more: 9 Christian Dating Sites for Seniors.

Most websites have a free version and a paid version. It’s best to invest in the paid version if you’re serious about online dating. This way, you get access to all the features and you are also better protected.

That being said, make sure you stay safe and don’t send any personal information to anyone until you have had several conversations and even had some video chats. Unfortunately, women our age are often targeted by scammers that infiltrate online dating websites. 

Read more: Staying Safe on Senior Dating Sites: A Professional Dating Coach Weighs in.

There are great single men on these websites that are looking for the exact same thing that you are. Make sure to post clear photos on your profile where your personality is showing. Add some photos of you doing some activities that you like, like hiking or horseback riding for example. Refrain from putting photos of your kids or grandkids on your profile, you can share these privately once you get to know someone better.

Exploring Niche Dating Sites

In addition to the well-known dating sites, there are niche dating platforms that cater specifically to older adults. These sites can provide a more tailored experience, connecting you with people who share similar life experiences and values.

Look into platforms like SilverSingles, OurTime, and SeniorMatch, which are designed specifically for singles over 50. These sites often have features that cater to older adults, such as easier navigation and security features to protect against scammers.

Read The Top 5 Best Dating Sites for Seniors.

How to Spot Red Flags in Online and In-Person Dating

Dating after 60 can be exciting, but it’s also important to be cautious, especially when meeting someone online or for the first time. At this stage in life, your instincts are stronger than ever, so trust them. If something feels off, it probably is.

When dating online, keep an eye out for a few common warning signs. Be cautious if someone refuses to video chat, seems too good to be true, or quickly declares love without having met in person. Another big red flag? Anyone who asks for money, gift cards, or financial help, no matter how touching their story sounds.

In person, pay attention to how someone respects your boundaries. If they’re evasive about their past, avoid introducing you to friends, or push for too much too soon, that’s worth noting. Discomfort is a signal. You’re not being picky, you’re protecting your well-being.

You deserve honesty, kindness, and clarity in any new relationship. Don’t be afraid to step away from something that doesn’t feel right. There are plenty of men out there who are looking for a real connection, just like you.

What to Do After a Disappointing Date

Not every date will lead to sparks, and that’s perfectly okay. Even with the best intentions, sometimes the chemistry just isn’t there. Instead of feeling discouraged, take a step back and treat the experience as part of the journey.

Call a close friend and talk it through. Sometimes, just saying it out loud can help you move on and even laugh about it. Do something that makes you feel good, watch a favorite movie, go for a walk, or buy yourself fresh flowers.

Remember, a disappointing date isn’t a failure. It’s just one step closer to finding what and who truly fits. Each interaction teaches you something.

Enjoying the Journey

Finally, remember that dating after 60 should be fun! It’s an opportunity to meet new people, have new experiences, and enjoy life. Don’t put too much pressure on finding “the one” right away. Instead, focus on the journey and the joy of connecting with others.

Try to approach each date with a sense of curiosity and adventure. Whether it leads to a lasting relationship or not, every date is an opportunity to learn something new about yourself and others.

Read 8 Unmistakable Signs That You May Have Met the Perfect Match.

There really are so many ways to meet men even after 60 – it simply takes a shift in mindset.

Let’s Have a Conversation:

Do you agree that women should make the first move when meeting a man for the first time? Do you think we have forgotten the Art of Flirting? Please add your thoughts in the comments section below.