Loving relationships are tricky at any age, but, according to dating coach David Wygant, its men over 50 who really shoot themselves in the foot! After years in the dating game, older men somehow forget how to approach women.
Of course, both men and women have wants, needs and desires. But, as we get a little older, no-one seems to want to make the first move. So, like kids at a school dance, we sit on opposite sides of the room, blaming each other for being shy.
At the same time, with decades of experience, we all understand that life is short and we have a strong desire for intimacy, love and companionship. So what’s the answer?
David has a very straightforward solution to this dilemma. In fact, I would go as far as to say that our conversation changed my view of dating after 50 (and life after 50 in general).
David is an honest (ok, perhaps brutally honest) and dynamic 51-year-old dating coach. In the video below, he talks about his own approach to relationships and reassures me men and women can achieve dating success at any age.
I hope you enjoy my interview with dating coach, David Wygant on the topic of mature dating. Please don’t forget to join the conversation at the end of this article.
In our interview, David quite provocatively calls older men “wimps” and encourages older women to just “go for it” and make the first flirtatious move.
He suggests we smile, start a conversation and make a man feel relaxed and desired. I can already hear women sighing as they read these words – but, sorry my friends, this is just how David sees it. And, to be honest, there’s a lot of truth to what he says.
Don’t forget. David spends most of his life dealing with older men, who are looking for a partner. So, he has a great deal of insight into the psychology of men over 50.
In this respect, David reinforced what psychologist Duana Welch said older men really want – to feel honored and desired.
Here are a few specific pieces of dating over 50 advice that I took from my conversation with David.
David states the obvious – every day we are getting older and this creates a sense of urgency in finding love. He encourages us not to waste time. Instead, he says that we should put ourselves out there and be direct in inviting a man out for a coffee or dinner.
David’s reminds us that men will not always make the first move, so, women over 60 have to be willing to take the lead. This is, in fact, very similar to advice given by Lisa Copeland, a woman dating coach.
His advice in six words is, “put down the phone and engage!”
David was adamant that women over 50 should feel good about themselves, make an effort to dress nicely and be comfortable with who they are. He highlights the need to see opportunities everywhere – at the coffee shop, library, bank, bus stop.
Women who live in the past, dwelling on past mistakes and worrying about being rejected, will never find a place in their hearts for a new relationship.
David’s advice is to live abundantly and in the present and men will be attracted to your immediate energy and passion.
David encourages us to get it out of our heads that the only man we will accept is the one we loved when we were 20. David suggests looking for the average guy who wants to feel wanted, sexy and alive again.
Show positive energy and confidence and make a man feel honored and intelligent. Take an interest in his life. Ask questions. Stop judging. As David says, make him feel “like a king.” In return, let him make you feel like a queen – it’s reciprocal.
In terms of fashion, David’s advice was to wear age appropriate clothes, but, be comfortable with signature pieces that communicate who you are.
Be bohemian, if you like. Break the rules. Wear funky jewelry and jeans. Basically, do anything that makes you feel sexy and sophisticated. Keep wearing beautiful lingerie and choose not to be invisible!
At the end of the day, David’s advice is simple. Take care of yourself, be interesting and look at life as the gift that it is. Forget the past and live in the present. When you love yourself you will make space in your heart to love others – and to be loved.
What do you think of David’s advice about dating over 50? What do you agree with him on most? What do you absolutely disagree with him on? What one question would you like to ask David about dating over 50? Please join the conversation below.
Tags Senior Dating Advice