If you divorced in your 50s or 60s, you’re familiar with that feeling. Some of us know it all too well, both during divorce and afterwards.
Let’s talk about one of the most common obstacles that stop us from moving on after divorce, especially after a long-term marriage.
Divorce has been declining in America – except for older Americans where it has been increasing. The number of people over the age of 50 who divorce nearly doubled between 1990 and 2010, according to a recent study. Researchers have dubbed divorce for those over the age of 55 as the “gray divorce,” and have started to note its many financial consequences.
During and after a divorce, it can be very difficult to maintain your connections and community.
When you are recovering from divorce after a long-term marriage, loneliness is definitely an obstacle that keeps you from moving on. We get stuck in this mindset because it makes us feel like we have nobody in the world.
When you go through a divorce, it is quite possible that you will experience a crisis of confidence. I did. I wondered how I was going to deal with it all: the emotions, the financial realities, the effect that the divorce would have on my children. Was I up to it? Would I be able to do it?
After divorce, are you making this happiness mistake? Let me explain.
A while ago, I was laid off from a 9-5 job and I started to panic. As I started to assemble a resume and apply for new jobs, a voice in the back of my head kept chiming in: “I will be happy again once I am in a new job. Once I get that first pay check, I know I’ll smile and feel better about everything.”
Divorce after 50 can make you feel like everything you’ve known has been taken from you. The life you planned and your vision of the future may disappear, leaving you with a feeling of not knowing what to do or where to go from here.
But when you feel like this, don’t panic! There is merely one thing you must remember:
Unfortunately, men and women rarely ask themselves two essential divorce questions as they begin the process or while negotiating the final settlement: