“Be yourself, everyone else is already taken” — Oscar Wilde
I have this quote on a pillow at my entryway, it’s a great way to remind myself that I need to be true to me. I should not be ‘doing’ what others expect me to, unless it’s what I want to do!
If you know the nursery rhyme story of Jack Sprat and his wife, then you have an idea of the relationship my wife of 44 years, Judy, and I have. If you’re not familiar with the child’s poem, here is the first stanza:
Do you ever wonder if you’re worth it? Do you believe you are valuable to the people you love? How about yourself? Do you let others define your value? Do you hide your true self? Do you know your true self?
I’m separating from the man I’ve been partners with since my 20s. The last few months have been very difficult. My living arrangements are unsettled, so my habits and routines are jumbled.
I hate to admit it but I’m a creature of habit. Year-round, I follow the same routine: I’m up early to go to the gym for a workout, or I head outdoors for a long run. Then most of my days are spent at the computer editing or talking with clients on the phone.
Do you ever yearn to go back to the good old days when your kids were small, and you were busy, busy, busy helping them grow and enrich their lives? Unfortunately, that is not an option. Time, and children, march on.
I recently read a Facebook post about a 40-year reunion. Four men had a band when they were in high school. Three of them went on to non-music careers but got together again at the reunion. They started practicing and reinvented the band even though they did not live close to one another.
Five years ago, my husband and I relocated from our home in Maryland to California. Our plan was to live near our children and family who had relocated to the area. We downsized and got rid of most of our furniture and belongings. We let go of things that had accumulated over the years.
There’s a rumor circulating that after a certain age women disappear.
Not literally, of course, but for all practical purposes many older women feel overlooked, dismissed and ignored. Curiosity drove me to investigate why some of us fade out while others continue to be noticed.
But before I divulge the secrets to banishing the cloak of invisibility forever, I think it’s important to validate what happens to women as we leave menopause behind.