Women over 60 have lived complicated lives. By the time we reach our 60th birthday, we have our share of battle scars. Some of us have lost someone close to us. All of us have, in one way or another, battled discrimination and stereotypes. Throughout our lives, we have faced questions of body-image. Now, as we enter our 60s, we have a choice to make. Will we allow our negative self-talk to prevent us from living our dreams? Or, will we take control and replace our doubts with positive emotions and a desire to get the most from life after 60?
Here are 5 of the most common negative statements that women make to themselves, consciously or unconsciously and, more importantly, what we can do about them.
Positivity is my mantra. I always try to put an optimistic spin on things. After all, for the most part, what goes on in the world is outside of our immediate control.
Women over 60 are a resilient lot. We’ve had to be. Throughout our lives we have battled discrimination in the workplace and crayons on the walls at home. We have loved and lost. We have followed our dreams and encountered more than our fair share of nightmares. Now, as we reach our 60s, despite our natural resiliency some of us feel a bit battered and bruised by life.
So much of our life is spent trying to please other people. While some women are able to find the strength to truly be themselves at every stage in their lives, the majority of us feel compelled to care what other people think along the way.
But, regardless of how we got here, the good news is that, now that we are in our 60s, we all have the opportunity to be who we really are.
By the time we reach our 60s, most of us have made our share of sacrifices. We have relocated to support our husband’s careers, put our dreams on hold for our children and supported our communities at our own expense.
I’m not saying that any of these actions are wrong – far from it! I’m simply saying that most of us have made a habit of putting others before ourselves.
Every day, it seems like another famous actor, musician or sports star declares bankruptcy. A few of the most famous examples include Kim Basinger, Billy Joel and Nicolas Cage. More recently, famous rapper, 50 cent, threw in the towel and admitted that his debts had become too much to handle.
Do you every feel like you are chasing happiness? How many times have you said, “When I get _______ I’ll finally be able to do ______?” Or, “If only _____ would happen, I could finally be happy!” This kind of thinking comes so naturally to us that we barely even notice it. Unfortunately, natural as it may be, this kind of thinking also prevents us from being happy in the present.
Many women are struggling to find happiness in life after 60. On the surface, you might think that our inability to be happy comes from our complex lives. After all, many of us have experienced divorces and deaths in the family. Some have lost parents and watched their children grow up and move away. Others have experienced health challenges of one kind of another. But, despite the fact that we share similar challenges, some of us are much happier than others. The question is, why?
On some level, I guess we all dislike change. In fact, for most of our lives, we have done everything in our power to find stability. Most of us looked for “safe” jobs. We tried to get our family to “safe” neighborhoods. Now that we are 60, we are told to put our investments in something “safe.” In all of these cases, the word safe also means predictable.
Life after 60 is a time for reflection and renewal. It can also be a time for recommitting ourselves to our core values and exploring life with a renewed sense of purpose. As I talk to the other members of the Sixty and Me community, I find that most women believe that the best years are still to come – if we make good decisions today.
On some level, we all know that the secret to longevity and happiness after 60 isn’t found in the latest pills and potions that the “anti-aging” industry pushes at us. The best tonic for longevity is to live well – to surround ourselves with good friends, new experiences, healthy food and worthwhile dreams. But, if you are feeling a bit apprehensive about life after 60, you may be looking for some more specific advice. After all, we all know what makes us happy, but, knowing how to make ourselves happy is another matter!